{UAH} Ugandan Science Student Turns into Million Dollar Mafia!!!

I studied science courses because I wanted to become the President. When my dream comes to pass, I will go to Busoga twice a week and give the youths sacks of money to fight jiggers. Those people studied arts and are broke that is why their feet are scratch magnets. I will bring in a few eclipses, refund Kiprotich for working hard to get a gold medal and forget about Inzikuru. Tugenda nabagenda. 

But before I become President, I will become a Member of Parliament. You think sciences are not superior but you have no idea. I am going to stand for a party that has good donor money, throw a few millions around, buy some piece of land in Najjera and get elected. You know that is what makes me the best representative of my people. People vote cash and when you have cash, you are loyal (Ask Chris Brown). Once I get into the house, I will get bank rolled by all sorts of financial institutions because you know what?, I will have this huge salary and allowances (the trips are just jaribu). I will drive a Beema, do a few trips via Naana Hostel (Ofcourse I have to keep in the news even if it about condoning rape on people clad in miniskirts). After four years, I will remind my voters that I am still working on the road and electricity proposal and that if they could give me just five more years, only five….( Anyway depends on how long I need to clear my loan and build my City house, we'll see.) 

I have a dilemma because I first want to work in State House. Even if it is a typo ,the idea of earning 96Mils a month is just sick. Like seriously, I feel like a Hip Hop star right now. Ya donno, check dis!!

The army is tempting but you see I do not trust my looks. I could bribe someone to take me to Somalia but then again the biggest bucks won't come through unless I die. That can wait. Naye if only I was army commander, Oh my!! Fuel 30Mils a week (classified) intelligence facilitation 100Mils a day (classified); okay I am dreaming too much, gotta go. How do people get into KCCA, NSSF? I just need to be MD for one year, buy shares in UMEME and if that scoops me a cut of like 1.5Ba, pheew (hand rubs goatie, leg over knee!!). 

Anyway, I think it is more realistic to form a construction company. I will need to beat some sweep (nkuba Kyeyo) and come with a ghost American company and accent of course. I then need to find out who actually pulls the strings. When that earns me Mukono-Katotsi road, I will be in business. By the time they get over their maaro (stargazing), in New York and finally find out that my company does not exist, I should be on the next plane to China with some kilos in ma belly. AM not talking about Shudir's cigar but he is loaded, literally and also!

Can you imagine this babe saying she likes Balotteli because he has bad manners? what does that even mean.It's like saying Sanchez is local because he folds his shorts while on the pitch. Guy earns millions and he studied football chemistry and goal ballistics. Anyway you were saying?, 

Ya...sciences...uhhm, No, but if my engineering is good enough, I just need to get into UNRA. If I can get to determine who gets the contract then that would do. Kitu kidogo ma friend. Chinese, Italians, Nigerians (of course), best bidder will have to pass my more stringent scrutiny, and I mean stringent. Honestly six years in Med school and then I might not even get into IHK? 4 years of engineering Maths yet my Dad does not have a construction company?, Who am I kidding. 

If only I could sing. (Is it true that Eddy Kenzo doesn't speak English? For real?, how does he survive. like duh!!), Oba Anne Kansiime studied zoology?, kale in school we used to think babes with such accents were local naye maama!! Even the mosquitoes at home know that I am not funny and to think I could try comedy on Germans in English?!

Anyway, the President said we should study sciences. You see even musicians are doctors. Dr. Chameleon, Dr. Hilderman, okay Bobi Wine is His Excellency but they say he is a successful agriculturalist so he must have studied agric. You see, even Dr. Mitch would not have been a successful MC if he had not studied veterinary medicine. The course teaches how to make animals laugh so it is easier when you apply the prescription on humans.

 

I am told even Andrew Mwenda is a very good scientist. He is the professor of Confusionolosis Depublicalasis. (The course is offered online in some Bachelors- only university based in Ougadougu) 

Kale bye, I have a Chemistry practical class to attend.

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"When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all beehives"

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