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{UAH} Wolokoso: What did Museveni promise Kembabazi? Hilarious on Abiriga

Wolokoso: What did Museveni promise Kembabazi?
  • Written by Observer Media Ltd

A photograph of Diana Kembabazi, a former Eala contestant, gluing on President Museveni after the state of the nation address last week, has become a sensation on social media.

It has been subjected to several interpretations and we cannot tell for sure what the two talked.

What we can confirm is that for some time, Kembabazi, who works for an MP from Ankole sub-region, has been stalking the president (see the series of photos).

We have been told that after she lost out during Eala elections, the president promised her something, like a job, which is not forthcoming. So, what really did the president promise Kembabazi that keeps her unsettled?

'Sleeping antidote' fails test

Last week, parliament hosted two important events on its annual calendar: the state of the nation address on Tuesday and the reading of the 2017/18 national budget on Thursday.

These two events have previously cast our national leaders in a bad light – as they normally sleep through the long speeches while President Museveni outlines his priorities for the next financial year.

To avoid a repeat of this, parliament first issued a warning to journalists telling them to not to use images or videos that "cast Parliament in bad light or to attempt to ridicule or make mockery" of the legislators.

How parliament intended to enforce this, we could not tell because our legislators, who work so hard, were bound to sleep. Some of them tried various techniques to keep the sleep at bay.

Some carried packs of locally boiled coffee beans, while others drained their pockets to buy brewed coffee that was being vended by Serena hotel.

Even with this antidote, quite a number, notably: Alex Onzima, the state minister in the Office of the Vice President; John Mitala, the secretary to the cabinet and head of Public Service and Steven Kavuma, the deputy chief justice, were overpowered by sleep.

Did the coffee not work, wondered some MPs before Hatwib Katooto, the Katerera MP, assigned himself the role of the 'anti-sleeping chief whip.'

"Honourable members, stay awake, there are many cameras around. The journalists should not get you dozing," Katooto went around 'whipping' his colleagues.

But Katooto's efforts came quite late as journalists had already captured images of the dozing MPs.

Why would FDC steal Abiriga's outfits?

Arua Municipality MP, Ibrahim Abiriga, started last week on a sad note. After making enough savings from his parliamentary earnings, the retired military man bought a house at Kawanda, on the outskirts of Kampala.

Unfortunately for the colourful NRM legislator, he has since discovered that Kawanda is highly populated with FDC supporters. As fate would have it, one night last week, thieves broke into his Kawanda residence and took away his yellow belongings.

A trained soldier and intelligence officer, Abiriga quickly calculated that if there are 100 thieves in Kawanda, 90 of them are supporters of FDC. So, he concluded that the house was broken into by FDC youths.

"Who else would pick interest in my yellow clothes, yellow shoes, yellow plates and yellow cups other than the FDC youths? I am sure they stole them to destroy them," a sad Abiriga told journalists at parliament last week.

We feel for poor Abiriga and, hopefully, he will recover strongly from this sad experience.

Here comes 'vice president' Anifa Kawooya

Anifa Bangirana Kawooya, the Sembabule Woman MP, is no longer an ordinary MP, at least according to her own account.

This NRM diehard is one of Uganda's representatives to the Pan African Parliament. During its last sitting at Midrand, South Africa, Kawooya got elected as the vice president of the parliament's women caucus.

Since then, she is trying all the time to have the title added to her litany of titles, which include 'honourable' and 'hajjat.'

Lately, when you simply address her as hajjat or honourable, you will get a tongue lashing. "Don't say honourable, call me vice president. Things have now changed; I am a vice president for the whole of Africa," Kawooya was overheard telling colleagues.

Now, that is the blessing that came with Ramadhan to Kawooya, who has since changed from short dresses to the Islamic attire reflective of the hajjat that she is.

Here at Wolokoso, we congratulate 'Her excellency the Vice President of Africa', honourable, hajjat Anifa Kawooya. That was quite a mouthful!


Gwokto La'Kitgum
"Even a small dog can piss on a tall building" Jim Hightower

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