[UAH] How to Survive a UNAA Convention

Here is an email from a regular UNAA Convention attendee which we thought you might enjoy!

I am always surprised by the difficulty some folks experience at UNAA conventions. You even get some people complaining about things which are really attractive about UNAA, e,g entertainment. So I decided to put together some tips which people, especially those who are new to the convention, can use to navigate their way and enjoy this great event and keep coming back for more. Please don't get offended it is mostly in jest.

1.       It is a convention of Ugandans who live in North America. There will be many Ugandans and lots of Ugandan culture all around. These folks have come to join and meet other Ugandans and to feel Ugandan. They will be doing everything a Ugandan will typically do in Uganda. Speak Ugandan languages, socialize over drinks, bang kaboozi, discuss Ugandan politics, dance vigorously and yes even stare as frankly as we do. If you are expecting to meet people speaking English in American accents, discussing racial issues or absentee Fathers and dancing to rap music – keep stepping. You are probably looking for the NAACP convention next month.

  

2.       Take advantage of the early bird convention registration discounts. The first time I was advised to do this I had just paid the most expensive on-site registration rate and so the idea of doling out more money for the next convention was highly objectionable. But I decided to take the double hit and very painfully paid the discounted $150 rate 11 months ahead of the next convention. Of course by the time the next convention rolled around that pain was long forgotten and it felt like I was attending a convention for free. This is freely available advice and for some unknown reason you will find our good people stuck in a queue paying that expensive on-site rate. Ah Ugandans – I told you it was a Ugandan event!!

  

3.       Register for your hotel room early – they ALWAYS sell out - Hell, this year's Omni Hotel is selling out as you read this email. !! This is an absolute no-brainer. It is free and guarantees you a room for the duration of your stay at the convention. You only pay for this room after you have used it at check out. If you think you will not show up for the convention – I can't image why – then all you have to do is cancel at least 24 hours before you were scheduled to arrive. But true to keeping things feeling Ugandan, on day one of the convention you will see stranded folks looking for a room and they are willing to pay anything at this point to get in.

  

4.       Oh and while we are still on this topic, you want to stay in or near the convention hotel. The ability to get to your room at a moment's notice at any time of the day or night by yourself or otherwise – priceless!!. Stories abound of this guy who missed the dinner cruise because his cab ride back from some far off cheaper hotel got stuck in traffic. When (NOT IF) the Omni sells out there will be an overflow hotel arranged and our trusty planners always make sure it is nearby - grab a room there as soon as possible.

  

5.       And another thing about hotel rooms - and you will thank me for this tip – you can actually share with an old or new friend. Towards the convention start date (and even during the convention –whom am I kidding?) there will be folks looking to share rooms and of course split the room rate. If you are one of those caught on the wrong side ("your boss finally agreed to give you the time off") look around and you will surely identify a Ugandan who appears to be in charge. Don't feel shy, walk up to this in-charge fellow and let them know you are looking to share. They make every effort to match you only with someone of the same gender. You see!! We Ugandans are decent.

  

6.       After you are checked in and your S.O is taking the stuff to the room, look for the UNAA registration desk and get your convention passes and DON'T lose them. Don't go up to your room and catch up with friends before you get your pass. The registration process is now greatly improved and brisk but we Ugandans don't like lines which are more than 4 people deep with the guy at the counter holding up the line with a ridiculous claim of having paid over skype. That plus UNAA now hires bouncers who are not Ugandan and are allergic to kitu kidogo offerings. You don't want to be the dude they pull aside and we are all wondering if you paid!!

  

7.       Now you are at the convention, get ready to make new friends and to design your own experience – this is America!! Keep in mind we all got to America for several different reasons, at several different times and at different stages in our lives. You are not going to walk into a bar and get immediately recognized. No one knows you yet. It is most likely that the folks you will meet at a convention were not born and raised in your village, did not go to your school or work at your first job in Kampala. So look around and feel free to walk over and introduce yourself to anybody and I mean anybody. Feel free to engage your new found acquaintances and start to design your experience. Will they be on the dinner cruise too? When and where will you have drinks and dinner? Which seminars will you attend? May I have your number? The convention is not a wedding where you are shuffled around according to a Brides plan – you own your destiny here.

  

8.       If there is a Saturday Dinner Cruise a.k.a The Boat or Elyatto, you want to be on it. I know it costs extra and everyone is trying to save a penny. But when all the beautiful people are lined up, excited and boarding this exquisite marine vessel, you will be frantically searching for the Treasurer to pay double the price. Of course you will not get on and you will be left behind with some rather sober company in the hotel discussing the difficulty of raising teenagers the Ugandan way in America. Riveting stuff.

  

9.       Try to attend at least one seminar or session even if it appears to be something you are not interested in. They are free and chances are you will learn something new and get better engaged with UNAA. It is a good opportunity to meet like-minded people and also a massive opportunity to meet high ranking US Federal and State Officials and Senior Uganda Government officials like Ministers, MPs and CEOs. Several successful business enterprises have seen their birth at these events. UNAA brings you an opportunity that other gatherings never do, the chance to meet your future employer, business partner, next business venture etc Make use of the Companies that come to advertise their products and go an extra mile in finding out how you can get more for your money. For instance if Post Bank wants you to open a diaspora account, learn how you can use their services to keep your people back in the village covered at your convenience. Don't just open the account and walk away. The same post bank official may tell you how you can get a loan to buy that land of your dreams in Uganda. So visit all those Booths and see what each Vendor is trying to sell you. Banange get something out of UNAA, you paid!!

  

10.   Do you remember how we used to tell directions back in Uganda, yes, "that building opposite the crane and then you go up the road and the 4th house on the left"? The expectation is that you have not lost that skill. You see the UNAA program has followed the same format for so long, regulars do not need it. However as a newbie you need to know the main points. There is a dance on Friday night and lunch on Saturday with seminars all day. On Saturday afternoon is the dinner cruise (a.k.a the Boat) and of course another dance back at the hotel. Then prayers on Sunday morning followed by some meetings and then the Gala Dinner. Throughout these 3 days we also have a popular vendor's area where I have seen Kabalagala (as in Mbadda), Matooke and even Nsenene among so many other things on sale. Of course the formal printed program is handed to you at registration but being Ugandans, with trust in our natural sense for directions, we always forget our copies somewhere and look for officials to tell us where to go. Try to be different, yes? Please? We will see.

  

11.   Dress smartly – casually or formally and try to look your best. There is no other way to disguise this very intrinsic Ugandan value. In preparation for the convention, experienced attendees actually go shopping for in-vogue clothes, some lose weight, and ladies install expensive weaves while the men get clean cuts and dye their hair. You don't want to overdo it though – like the guy who is still remembered for the bright red jacket he wore to an event about 5 years ago. With that said you don't want to look under dressed during the formal dress gala dinner on Sunday. Yes you read correctly - it is a formal dress event. For the ladies a beautiful long evening gown or something that flatters you beyond words or even something beautifully African comes in highly recommended.  For the guys a well-fitting suit and neck-tie (or bow tie) or even something smart in a formal way will pass. That said it is a Uganda event and there are no official dress code requirements just be yourself and all will be well.

  

12.   Continuing on with attire, while we are Ugandans feeling Ugandan, we are NOT in Uganda and some influences from our station here in America will have come through. So yes, some ladies will be sporting skirts that are slightly shorter than you are used to while a few others may have on shorts which one might consider a tad bit tight. Then you will wonder how one could possibly fit in that dress…but I am digressing. The point is this is typical summer attire and what you are looking at is not in any way suggestive or intended to be provocative – in fact it is toned down. Don't believe me? Visit New York's Grand Central Station in August and let us meet at the convention to compare notes. In any case this country celebrates the freedom of expression so all these chauvinistic Lokodo tendencies need to stay exactly where they belong - in Lokodo's filthy mind.

  

13.   Ugandans actually enjoy being Ugandan and around other Ugandans. With all the political debates and name calling all year round, this comes as a surprise to many. There are other conventions for different Ugandan groups on dates earlier than UNAA but trust my fellow Ugandans…the bigger attendance numbers are reserved for the one and only, all-encompassing and diverse Ugandan North American Association convention. It is without doubt the largest convention of Ugandans in the diaspora. Attendees can expect a positive, family-friendly experience that includes stimulating workshops, high-energy performances by award-winning music artists, and cutting-edge special events for all ages. The convention offers educational, entertaining and empowering activities for men, women, young adults, teens and children.

  

14.   Then for the Non-Political folks – the majority – don't listen to complaints about UNAA being about Ugandan politics. Those are false rumors spread by folks trying to improve their chances by eliminating the competition. Yes there will be a few people who get their daily fix from discussing politics but these have been safely tucked away in their own meeting rooms. If politics is not your thing, you will be happy to know that several like-minded people will be crowded in the hotel bar downing Heinekens – the preferred convention beer.

  

15.   Now that was about Ugandan politics but even UNAA has elections and therefore its own internal politics and boy are we just as passionate. In an election year like this one, you will see fliers and posters all over the place. There will be groups of folks in colored T-shirts here and there and hopefully one candidate will front "appropriately dressed" campaign agents of the fairer gender. As long as you are not heavily invested in the outcome, I would advise you to sit back and enjoy the spectacle. Sit near a watering hole and you may get a few free drinks compliments of this or that desperate candidate. Since your mind is not yet made up imbibe without any guilt. On Sunday, the Election Day, tell any candidate or agent who dares to ask that you have already voted – your stock has pretty much dropped in value by then. Then decide and go vote.

  

So Come to UNAA this August 30th to September 1st 2013. It will be a blast!!

  

Gaburungyi
(UNAA Regular)


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