{UAH} THIS IS HILARIOUS: Translated: what the Mandela signer was really saying

Translated: what the Mandela signer was really saying

What was the signer at Nelson Mandela's memorial service really saying? Photo: ALEXANDER JOE/AFP

By Speed Read

4:22PM GMT 11 Dec 2013

Sign language experts have tried to make sense of the signer at the memorial service to Nelson Mandela.

It was, they say, nonsense. We asked around, but they all insisted there was no sense whatsoever to be drawn from his hands, much like decoding unreadable doctors' handwriting.

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The only gesture which remotely made sense was this...

...which means child, according to the experts.

But where the experts failed, the amateur sign linguists triumphed.

And now the mysterious hand signals can be decoded in full.

Translation: "I'm just a random chancer! Shhh! Don't let on!"

Translation: "Look, I'm not *completely* talentless. I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time."

Translation: "Blimey, this speech isn't half dragging on. Anyone got a fag?"

Translation: "Come on, let's get this party started! Big fish, little fish, cardboard box!"

Translation: "I know these speeches are dull, but never mind, apparently Kiss are coming on in a minute."

Translation: "Dear God, please don't let anyone find out I'm a fake"

Translation: "Still, at least I didn't take a selfie"

Experts say even those who cannot read sign language could see he was a faker.

His movements are not synced with the words, appear exaggerated and child-like, and he appears to nervously look round several times. Which raises the question: how did he ever get on stage?

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

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