{UAH} Uganda: City Dude - Time to Watch the Wolf of Wall Street

Uganda: City Dude - Time to Watch the Wolf of Wall Street

BY SAMSON BARANGA, 23 JANUARY 2014

You may agree with me or not especially if you are surrounded by a bunch of douchebags. They seem to be all over the place. But debauchery also has its way of making the headlines in this pearl of Africa. Remember Doreen Kabareebe's private parts (are they even private?) all over the tabloids?

How about Tooro Princess Ruth Komuntale's hot pictures? Need I even mention Julianna's green thong? Wow, now that sangoma (South African term for witch-doctor) called King Lawrence is a douchebag in whose place I really wanted to be at some point - only that my plan was to skip the 'kiss and tell' part.

Princess Julianna should have known better than kiss a frog full of excitement after exchanging the South African rand for Uganda shillings. In the words of South African legend Lucky Dube, I'm gonna kiss no frog.

The frog did not turn into a prince; so, let's move on to Paddy Ssali, aka Bitama (Luganda for big cheeks). Drama has indeed followed the comedian to his grave: a lot has been said and written about the departed comedian. One of the writers I follow wrote, 'Two fathers and a funeral', which sounds like a good title for a movie. (We will discuss a movie later).

Why do Africans, especially Ugandans, fight for a dead body? Can anybody provide a satisfying answer? The paternity war ended with the biological father, referred to as a 'sperm donor', declared winner. This shows one thing; Ugandan men will go on to sire kids and not act responsibly because in the end all they will need to do is ask for a DNA test. What happened to being a father, being part of the upbringing? Anyway, rest in peace Paddy Bitama.

There are things Ugandans will not let rest in peace, especially if you tag them 'forbidden.' It is called the forbidden fruit syndrome: the more they refuse, the more we want. In fact Adam and Eve must have been Ugandans.

Speaking of the forbidden fruit syndrome, two quick and recent examples come to mind; the miniskirts and the movie called The Wolf Of Wall Street. I have never seen so many girls wearing miniskirts like I saw in the weeks following the passing of the Anti-Pornography Bill. If police was to carry out arrests, all the hot belles would be in prison and guys would be trying to get arrested just to follow them.

Another 'fruit' in form of a movie has been banned in Uganda. The Media Council stormed Cineplex 'mafia style' and took the movie just a few hours before its scheduled premiere. Now we are all curious and people have gone on a searching spree. Are the people who have given it awards out of their minds?

Is the F-word really mentioned 569 times? Do the sex scenes include gay orgies? Is it worse than the sex tapes from universities chocking my Smart phone to the extent of being too full to receive messages?

There is only one way to find out: by watching it. A friend has saved me the hustle of going downtown to find a copy, where it is apparently selling like hot cake.

I will get back to you with the answers.

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower