{UAH} OF AKIM'S FEDERALISM AND UGANDA'S EXTRAORDINARY NEW CAREER.

Often times, I ruminate over a few things unknowingly whether by virtue of unavoidable boredom or the residual effects a rare condition I have suffered only to be diagnosed recently by a an obnoxious character and named after her. 

Duuuh ...! It is the AKS (Anne Kansiime Syndrome). She seems to be either suffering many syndromes or just plain good at manufacturing them but the syndrome I am talking about here is called the Want Of Quarreling. Its taking a particular toll on me now an is the reason I am going to cause one shortly after straightening Akim. I want to quarrel now so bad or else its going to be a very long long day.....! to start my week.

Once I thought I was dancing to the same music and dancing the same choreo like Akim but I discovered just a few moments ago out of anger that kumbe, my position regarding federalism is a leap much further the distant beyond than Akim's yardstick. 

It is nothing short of "separation" completely from what is known as Uganda either with rest of the geographical Northern Uganda or going it Acholi - ALONE. Either way, the North has nothing to lose in the long term but the south will sink without the north. The one thing the north will not miss, let alone lose, is the non-existence of democracy characteristic the the feudal south. Or, you might be quick to say the north will be another Southern Sudan. No. It will not and will never. It is the south that will. It is the south that will go thru many more revolutions and needless to say bloody revolutions when peasants will resort to katalimbwas and pangas to topple already oppressive monarchies - if at all monarchies altho the rightful term should be mere chieftaincies. Already, many of the deprived southerners have slithered away and pitched camps in the north - they are in the thousands, if not hundred od thousands. And know what? They are deliberately losing their cultures to blend in completely and some have even started tracing and retracing clan connections to those in the north not only for security reasons but to be acknowledged and accepted as belonging to one another. That is something you will never find being accepted in the south

I am of the Pai'Bwor or Paibwor clan which is the Lion clan. Would any family of the Mpologoma welcome or accept me as being one of them in Buganda? NO. No way. And yet the opposite is true. You will be surprised to go to Pajule in the north and find Baganda ethnic converts who have taken advantage of Acholi welcome and settled like the typical Acholi of the Mpologoma/Lion clan with no hassle or problems.

I say the north will never be a Southern Sudan bcos the north - in case you didnt know - is a bunch of quick learns. We observe, listen and learn from our mistakes and fight even harder to avoid them than prevent how they first happened. 

But that is not the point of my argument for separation. Instead, it is a simple but annoying and insulting observation which many northers know has been happening for ages but dont know how to go shooting it down. It is also a folly of the south which doesnt know how the north can destroy it without firing a single musket or wielding a single panga. This is to say, the north knows it but the south is utterly ignorant of the same.

Here we go: is there a place called Northern Uganda in present Uganda's government? Ok. This may sound awkward so let me lower it to your minimal or basic understanding. On what grounds should the north remain part of Uganda when the south is completely oblivious to its existence? Now that is what I have termed ignorance of the south which should otherwise be stupidity of the south. As far as I know and can tell, the north is only important for rest of Uganda in as far as it weighs on the land size in global representation but the south thinks the north doesnt matter to Uganda. Wrong. 

I wont even go into the economic importance and significance of the north.

Akim, tear and burn you agenda for federalism and jump into my wagon to separation country.

In the words of my Nija Igbo cousins I want to end this segment by telling fellow northerners that "When we all urinate together, it foams"

Now let me ruffle feathers on the second agenda for starting a quarrel. It is about that bonehead you know as your president. Their is a lot twisted about this baboon that many or all of you dont seem to see or know. It is about his business acumen.

Is Museveni for or against homosexuality is the question. I am going to tell you snthing now but in the back of your mind dont forget he is a "visionary". Many of you would want to believe that Museveni is fighting homosexuality but I disagree. he4 is instead using homosexuality. he has used up the initial short-term phase of this agenda but now focused on the second phase which under his regime will go on into eternity. He used the American Evangelicals to light up the fire and now that it has been lit and handed to him, he is going unstoppable.

Musevein found out that much as Uganda can export its genuine and fake doctors to the outside world he can as well export homos - and he is using force to enact this. In Uganda now as I write, homosexuality is no longer a lifestyle of choice and neither a born identity. Homosexuality is now a career. It is a career that doesnt require any academic approach except a change of mind and society. 

Knowing how welcome homos are in the west is one major motivation for entering this career which will automatically translate into an entry visa into one of them western countries where the homo will reap big thru consolation support or Kyeyo. Homos have a mafioso-stype network in the west to support one another and an educated or simply well-informed homo from the motherland can land a job in the west much faster than a boat survivor who has most likely been held at some immigration joint for years. Money earned goes to the motherland.

So, to those of you reading this from inside the barbed wire fences of an immigration detention hangout, simply cry homo and you will be out real quick to start on your new career bcos chances are that after long years behind the fences with only male or female companions you would have turned homo anyways.

In Uganda, homosexuality is now a career.

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

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