{UAH} Serving in the UPDF now a prerequisite for getting jobs

Imagine coming to your lecture hall and the first creature your eyes meet is a General. A pistol on his table, just in case the students ask the right questions in the wrong forum. "My name is General Professor Yoweri Sejusa and I'll be taking you in JCO2201-Introduction to Writing Skills. First on our course outline is The basics of handling fire arms. See, that's exactly where Vision 2016, a brainchild of the only man with copyright over Uganda's vision, is taking you.

In the days to come, I will confer authority onto my generals and they will lead you into the Promised Land, so says the visionary. I will give them authority to shoot all the students who refuse to do science courses and those who do not hand in course works on time, whip the parents who can not afford to pack food (mawolo) for their children. My soldiers will set sniffer dogs onto all the university students who strike and the dogs will tear their flesh and throw the pieces to the birds of the air. And for the lecturers who strike for salary rises, I'll replace them with soldiers who are currently serving in Somalia. But before they go to class, I'll order them to lock the lecturers into a hall and feed them on teargas so as to instill discipline into these professors before they go to rear goats.

The soldiers will takeover the agriculture sector for the civilian extension farmers have failed owing to their corruption. Civilians steal and sell the seeds; the soldiers in Somalia have never stolen fuel and food rations. They have never taken bribes; they have never abused women. The soldiers will shoot the banana bacterial wilt out of plantations, they will teargas weeds and prune with batons.

In those days, cattle will produce more milk and quality beef. Poultry will lay 2 trays of eggs a day. You all know they lay one egg a day because their masters can't guarantee their security from birds of prey. The soldiers will spend time shooting these bad birds of the air.

And a law that makes military service a requirement for election to public office shall be enacted. The speaker, president, the judges and heads of state agencies shall be high ranking army men and women. Guns shall be allowed in Parliament as a means of resolving disagreement. These firearms shall also deal with the opposition who make noise about term limits, those cowards who pee in their pants on hearing a gun shot. Guns shall also work on those who sleep during the state of nation address and during budget reading.  Those who have not served in the forces will not be registered and will never acquire IDs. Their children shall not go to UPE schools lest gun-wielding children of true Ugandans will shoot the hell out of them.

Hope you like this proposal as advanced by the only man with a vision for this country. A country where we salute each other! A country where we all have military ranks! On tweeting, "I'm from Uganda, the leading exporter of armed forces", the US would tremble with the fear of extinction.

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H.OGWAPITI
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"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that  we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic  and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
---Theodore Roosevelt

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