{UAH} CHEATERS' CORNER 1: Confessions of a Muslim woman - I am about to be disowned.

I am about to be disowned.

Have you ever dropped a bomb on your life? Been disowned by your parents? Shunned by your extended family and community? Please tell me about it.

I'm looking for experiences of people who have done things like: come out to a very conservative family, disavowed their religion, gotten a scandalous divorce, etc.

I fall into the scandalous divorce category.

I am a 39 year old female. I come from a large, close-knit, religious Muslim family, living in North America. I'm married with two children. And I am about to tell my parents that I had an affair.

My husband and I have been having problems for months; I want to go, he wants me to stay. He recently learned of my affair and gave me two choices: stay and nobody knows, or leave and everyone knows (our parents, extended families, kids, and the community at large). There will be no middle ground; this is guaranteed.

My family's reaction will be extreme. They will disown me. I know this for a fact; my parents know my marriage has been in trouble and have already told me what the consequences will be if I divorce.

Now with the added knowledge of the affair, they will be devastated and ashamed. So will my extended family and cultural/religious community. It will send shockwaves throughout the family. I will be shunned; my parents will be shamed. If I make this choice, I'll be ripping apart the very fabric of my life. No more family gatherings, no more cultural events, no...nothing. I'll be on my own (with my kids). This will affect us greatly, obviously.

If anyone has been through anything like this, I'd like to know what it felt like. I'm not asking whether I should do it. I'm asking what it will be like if I do. Answers from mefites who come from a strong cultural or religious background will be especially welcomed. Thank you.

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

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