SV: {UAH} Marital Advice

Okello DOKOLO and UAH folks,

I think, marriage has no legal education status based on the Whiteman Lawyer and, or litigation doctrine. I feel, we have what I always call traditional law base on compromise between two adults having agreed to live together in harmony whereby even wealth cannot buy it.

Take it or leave it, even Bill Gate cannot stay with his lady if there was no traditional love base on compromise. So you have tasted everything world women right from your youth days, but I think the whole of those actions were done without traditional compromise, Think twice about this position because education and learning does not stop until death as Mahatma Gandhi had said long ago.

 

Cheers

Ocaya pOcure

 

Den fredag, 3 mars 2017 19:36 skrev "ocennekyon@gmail.com" <ocennekyon@gmail.com>:

Bobby:

That is called 'Martial Law.'

And you thought that women don't rule the world!

Ocen

Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone.

From: Bobby Alcantara Sent: Friday, March 3, 2017 11:44 To: ugandans-at-heart Reply To: ugandans-at-heart@googlegroups.com Subject: {UAH} Marital Advice

Gwokto/ Ikanos/Henry Ford Mirima/ Alan Barigye,

I am in a bit of a fix. On the weekend, a Ugandan friend of mine came to see me with a very tricky family problem. Like me, he is long divorced, but in the last two years has been dating a white English divorcee. I have met them a few times and she is a lovely lady- not a gold digger and very friendly. 

Last christmas my buddy confessed to me and said he had decided to move in with his lover, because he thought it would be cheaper running one, rather than two households. I tried to dissuade him  from the idea- I asked him why he should fix a car when it is not broken- he has been having a lovely time with this woman for two years, so why change anything? I told him since I got divorced in 2009, I have been happier and more peaceful than I have ever been in my entire life, except only when I was a child at home with my mother. I told him about the freedoms I now enjoy, I am basically as free as a bird in the air- I sleep when I want, eat when I want, wake up when I want, go anywhere I want, spend a night anywhere I want, so why change all this I asked him?

Well, he did not listen to my advice, and so he moved in with his woman over christmas and I have not seen much of them until last weekend.  He really looked sad, and after a while started shedding tears. I was shocked- I asked him if the woman had thrown him out, a too common occurrence here in the UK? 

No, he said. "She has locked me in. She wants me to go to bed at 8.30 PM every night.!!! It has been like this since christmas and it is doing my head in"!!!

It turns out the woman is a stickler for rules and runs her home like a factory. My friend works up to 5-6 PM so she expects him home by 7PM. She then prepares dinner, and sets it up on the table, almost like in a hotel, at 8PM for the two of them to eat. This takes 30 minutes, after which she does the washing up,  brings him his night dress and slippers, while she takes a shower, and then comes out of the shower at 9PM, switches off the TV and the lights and asks him to come to bed. And this is the routine every day, she will not budge. If he is coming home late, he has to let her know in advance. At first he thought the woman was just interested in the sex and could not wait as soon as she sees him opening the front door, but now he realises this is her life-long routine, which she can't change. 

I asked him to sit her her down, talk to her and plead with her to extend the sleep-in time to 11 PM, but she won't budge. I am due to see my friend this weekend, what advice  shall I give him? Should I advise him to come back home  afetr mid-night 7 nights consecutively completely legless with the booze? He seems to love her,  but obviously does not know how to extricate himself from a very tricky situation, if not a deep hole.  I have had controlling and disciplinarian girlfriends before, but not those who  want who want me to go to bed at 8.30PM. In fact I usually had a lot of difficulty getting my Barbados wife to come back home after a night out.

As seasoned sexologists your help is very welcome

Bobby 

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