{UAH} SOMETHING FOR PARENTS TO LEARN!
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7:06 AM |
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Parents sexual abuse is real for both boys and girls.
Read the story and pick a lesson or 2
I am a 32 years old man and a father of 2 twin boys aged 3. I have been reading your previous posts and I am amazed at the ignorance of how people assume that raising boys is easy or that men have no real challenges growing up. This is my story on how I was continually molested since I was 10 years to the time I was 18. If I was a girl and got pregnant maybe I would have got the attention I needed to prevent most of my abuse.
I come from a family of 5 siblings and we are really wealthy. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and am the youngest in the family. For many years my father was a high flying civil servant flying across the globe to many government meetings. Until he retired, I can't remember anytime he was home before the 9 o'clock news.
When my father was home, he watched news, BBC, CNN, read newspapers and filled the crosswords puzzles. Other than greetings us sometimes, I don't remember him sitting down to talk to us at any point. The most conversation was when we closed school and he had our report forms and when we were opening school and we gave him a list of the things we wanted bought.
He never showed up for any school meetings either until this one time when he was a guest of honor in our school fundraiser. Other than being the man who gave us things, I can't say I know anyway I can relate to him. Even now when he calls I avoid his calls sometimes coz I am not even comfortable having any conversation with him. I can't talk to him on phone for even 2 minutes.
My mum on the other hand chose to be a high school teacher to be able to stay around and raise us. But due to many issues at home I can say my father was a whore. He cheated on my mum so much and openly until most times my mum just resigned to church praying and fasting and became really religious so I can't say that she was available either. Being in church pia she hosted alot of people in our home so most times we had upto 6 people hosted at home. As a result, our 5 bedroom house had all sorts of people.
My abuse started shortly after I turned 10. My older brothers and a cousin slept in one bedroom, my two sisters slept in one, my parents slept on separate bedrooms and one bedroom was permanently locked for high profile guests like those from mom's church. Since I was the youngest and I wet my bed for long, I slept in the same bedroom with our house help until I was 15. Btw, we had one house help from when I was 9 until the time I was 20.
When I left home at 18 for campus, I never returned home. Until today, I have too many bad memories of that place I call home that I have only been there just 4 times. I never sleep home no matter how late it is. This Covid-19 my mum was unwell at night. I went and picked her up, we did hospital runs and then I left for my place at 3 in the morning after getting her back home. I can never sleep there. My mom doesn't know why and I can never tell her.
One night after my 10th birthday, I woke up in the night and heard our househelp moaning. I heard her cum and talk to the man in our room. Later I realized that was my cousin from the voice. The following day, a family friend who was been hosted was on the househelp too. Then I realized it has been a long cycle and they took turns to have sex with her. This continued for long and from all that noise sometimes I was too tired to wake up in the morning to go to school. Later I found our that they used to put piriton in the soda they used to give so I could sleep soundly. I don't know for how long that happened.
One day,I found the cousin and this family friend in a threesome. That time all my older siblings had left for school since they were in boarding schools. They made me watch through it all and then the family friend undressed me and started licking my penis and eating my ass. They then blackmailed me and said that if I report them no one would believe me and they will say that I tried raping the house girl and they caught me.
So this continued and they molested and sodomized me. The first time I had anal sex I had just turned 11. My dad was out of the country for a month and my mum had gone away for a church conference. So I was home alone in the hands of my abusers. That weekend when I was penetrated it hurt like hell. I couldn't walk properly and they have my painkillers and all. So by the time my mum came back, I was healed and life went on.
What hurts me most is that my mum trusted our househelp too much. She ran the house for her. I even suspect that my father would have had a round or two with her because I found them in compromising positions many times and I would see how they looked at each other when my mum was not there. But most times my dad would pretend to hate her in front of everyone else. So I knew that if I reported her it was my loss.
When I got to class 6 I was shipped to boarding like all my siblings. Primary school was better because I escaped the hell I was in at home. However high school was hell. I went to one of the best high schools in the country and the moment I landed in that school, I got an older boy who sodomized me through and through. He was the headboy and so no one else touched me. I soon realized it was normal and it happened to many boys if not all.
When I went home for half term and tried to raise the issue with my dad claiming that I won't go back to that school, he beat me up badly and called me ungrateful. He injured me badly and broke my ankle. Everyone including my siblings gave me a lecture about how I should be grateful to be in a top performing school and so many things. I was told that if I don't go to school I should consider myself to be jobless so I should look for a job and move out to fend for myself. With a broken ankle I just went back to school.
In school, my partner was so attentive and caring. Since my ankle was broken, he didn't have sex with me. Instead, he nursed me and took really good care of me. I chose to adjust my attitude and that is how I ended up being intiated into homosexuality. It became normal to me and even started enjoying it. I swear after that I loved school and never looked back. When I cleared high school I passed well and went to uni. The day I packed my stuff out of home, I never returned until after fourth year.
I however adjusted. I got a girlfriend in campus who understood my journey. We moved in since she was also dealing with her issues. I realized that I was gay out of circumstances. 3 years ago I got married to this awesome mama with whom I have these twin boys. We have never had a househelp in our house.
My wife is a medical doctor and is at work most times, I am an architect and my job is flexible. I can say that I am the one who has raised our boys from day one. No matter how busy I become, I can never choose between being a father and being at work. I turn down any job that requires me to work out of Nairobi. I work from 8 to 4 pm. They were about to start school before Covid-19 happened when they do go to school I know I can work better.
Most times, I use my car to raise the boys. I go everywhere with them if I have to. My wife and I take turns to raise our boys and from the begin she understood that it is either we commit to parenting or we have no business having kids. We both wanted to have 2 kids and that is what we have done.
I can never host people in my house as well. My parents gave us the best in terms of things but they failed us terribly. My siblings also struggle alot with life issues and my parents are good at throwing money on every issue as long as they don't sit and work through it. Sometimes my mom tries to over compensate but it doesn't work. My dad is lost in his world coz none of my siblings feelings connected to him in any way. The other day he was hospitalized for a month and 3 of my siblings never showed up to see him even once. 2 of them have never called him to date to even find out how he is doing. They say he can pay off all his problems or he can buy relatives with his money. I know this is the consequence of being an unavailable parent.
I will keep sharing my stories growing up.
Thanks for sharing this for me. Also thank you for taking your time to listen to me. My wife and I appreciate a lot.
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