{UAH} THE DAY AFTER I WAS SEXUALLY HARASED AT THE PENTAGON

What Happened the Day After I Was Sexually Harassed at the Pentagon

Sept. 25, 2021

 

By Maya Guzdar

Ms. Guzdar is a senior at Stanford University. She was an intern this summer at the Department of Defense and is interning at the Leadership Council for Women in National Security.

I used to be an intern on the Department of Defense attending an workplace glad hour in July when a drunken senior worker — a person a lot older than me — started trailing me. He adopted me, together with different interns, as we moved from group to group.

Eventually, he cornered me, asking about my favourite alcoholic drinks (regardless of realizing that I used to be underage), my partying habits and my ethnicity, amongst different issues. No matter my reply, he saved pushing, responding with what sounded to me like sexual innuendo, whereas standing too shut. It was, to say the least, uncomfortable.

At the tip of the night time, the scenario escalated: The man broke by way of a bunch I used to be standing with and careened towards me in a method that alarmed me. That’s when somebody intervened. A male officer pushed him away from me, and a feminine colleague instantly scooped up the interns and drove us residence.

In the automotive, we debated whether or not to report the incident to our higher-ups. My colleague cautioned us to not be shocked if reporting yielded no outcomes. “At the end of the day,” she stated, bitterly but sympathetically, “the D.O.D. is still a boys’ club.”

I’d by no means skilled office sexual harassment, however I knew the percentages had been in opposition to me. I used to be an intern within the Office of the Secretary of Defense, which is tasked with, amongst different issues, addressing sexual misconduct within the army. I’d seen the statistics: Of the greater than 6,200 reviews of sexual assault made by U.S. service members in fiscal 12 months 2020, solely 50 circumstances, 0.8 %, resulted in sex-offense convictions underneath the Uniform Code of Military Justice. While that authorized framework usually applies solely to members of the army and sure wouldn’t apply to my case, army tradition pervades the Pentagon. I assumed that reporting my harassment would lead to no consequence aside from the destruction of my status.

So that night time after I returned residence, I started to downplay the incident in my thoughts. I watched with virtually scientific detachment as I started gaslighting myself. “I’m overreacting,” I informed myself. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

I’m usually outspoken, however my intuition of self-preservation urged me to remain quiet, to not report what occurred. I used to be afraid of jeopardizing the internship I had been so excited to attain and the profession I used to be simply beginning. I nervous about hurting the relationships I’d constructed within the workplace. I puzzled, who would imagine the intern?

When I arrived on the workplace the following day, nevertheless, the truth that awaited me was the one I’d by no means imagined: the best-case state of affairs.

The man who had intervened on my behalf, a senior army official, reported the incident, and others who had been current corroborated his assertion. I used to be informed my harasser give up quickly after the investigation into his actions started. (I’ve chosen to not identify him and others talked about right here as a result of my focus will not be the identities of these talked about however relatively how their actions affected my expertise.)

Most astonishing, I felt supported, secure and validated all through the expertise. My fellow interns and I had been interviewed and given the chance to talk individually to a feminine supervisor concerning the incident.

Nearly each girl I do know has her personal story of office sexual harassment, the overwhelming majority of them ending with out justice or accountability. Research has discovered that almost one-fourth of U.S. servicewomen say they had been sexually assaulted within the army, and a latest Times article recounted the harrowing tales of a number of ladies who reported their assailants however didn’t see justice served.

So what occurred that set this expertise aside? The army has rightfully been criticized for its strategy to sexual misconduct, which is why I felt my expertise as a civilian on the Department of Defense was so exceptional. It’s tempting to chalk up my extra optimistic expertise to a progressive administration’s makes an attempt to deal with sexual assault and harassment within the armed forces or just to the actions of 1 good man. But the reply is extra advanced.

First, a male officer reported what occurred. His seniority, gender and army standing could have helped persuade the remainder of our workplace of the seriousness of the incident.

My aggressor’s actions dehumanized me as a result of they decreased me to a sexualized physique in entrance of my colleagues. But the general public nature of the incident made it tough for anybody to disclaim my expertise — as so many males in energy, from Andrew Cuomo to Bill Clinton to Brett Kavanaugh, have completed when what occurred was behind closed doorways.

Those essential variations, and my co-workers’ empathy, helped me to be rehumanized. The officer who reported the incident believed {that a} flawed had been completed, and that validated me. I lastly allowed myself to really feel the horror, disgust and compassion for myself that I’d been suppressing. And within the following days, practically each girl within the workplace checked in on me. Most poignant: an e mail in my inbox the following morning from a army officer’s spouse asking to share her experiences as a girl in nationwide safety.

Some ladies informed me their tales of harassment or sexual misconduct all through their careers, with a fierce intimacy and empathy. One service member informed me how, after giving her enterprise card to a overseas counterpart on a visit overseas, he relentlessly known as and harassed her over the telephone.

One of our workplace’s leaders took private accountability in a dialog with me, by which he pledged to institute bystander coaching. He additionally ensured that the results for this harassment had been seen to others, calling a gathering with senior employees members to debate the problem. And he confirmed compassion for the harasser, too: My boss supplied him counseling — a humane response that, to me, felt acceptable and even cathartic.

As terrible as what occurred was, I notice that in some methods the circumstances of my harassment made me comparatively lucky. A bunch of 223 ladies in nationwide safety signed an open letter in 2017 testifying to systemic issues with sexual misconduct and gender discrimination on the Departments of Defense, State and Homeland Security and at different businesses and teams. (Some of the ladies who signed this letter later based the Leadership Council for Women in National Security, the place I’m interning.)

I love my older feminine colleagues who caught with their careers even after the experiences they shared with me. I really like this work, however I don’t know if I might have continued on this profession path had my expertise gone every other method.

It’s scary to understand the fragility of my story’s optimistic consequence; it’s scarier nonetheless to think about the untold numbers of girls whose ambitions had been crushed as a result of their tales of harassment, assault or misconduct ended otherwise. It’s important that girls really feel secure and empowered to work in historically male-dominated businesses such because the Department of Defense — our bodies that wield super affect over U.S. nationwide safety, in addition to the nation’s worldwide status.

Today, I’m shifting ahead with my confidence, dignity, idealism and respect for my co-workers and the company I labored for intact, if not strengthened. That will have an effect on my profession and my skill to serve the United States for years to come back.

Last month, I lastly labored up the braveness to inform the officer who intervened and reported on my behalf that I appreciated what he did. I used to be shocked to search out myself choking up as I spoke. He deflected something near a thank-you.

“It’s about protecting each other,” he stated. Then he added: “It’s an honor and privilege to serve with you.”

Maya Guzdar, a senior at Stanford University, was an intern this summer season on the Department of Defense and is interning on the Leadership Council for Women in National Security.

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