{UAH} THE ETERNAL SHEPARD OF THE PEARL OF AFRICA

Satire by Crown Prince al-Gwoktoum, Garamba Caliphate 

Title: The Eternal Shepherd of the Pearl of Africa

Once upon a time, in a land famously referred to as the Pearl of Africa, there lived a shepherd named Yoweri, whose love for his flock knew no bounds—or boundaries. Yoweri was no ordinary shepherd; he had a grand vision. He wasn't content with tending his sheep for a season or two. No, Yoweri believed he was divinely ordained to lead the flock for eternity.

"I am the only one who understands these sheep," he proclaimed one sunny morning, stroking his trademark hat as he gazed at the hills. "Without me, they would wander aimlessly, bleating into the void."

The flock nodded, or so he thought, because sheep rarely disagree—especially when the shepherd controls all the grass and water.

The Grass of Democracy

Yoweri was famous for cultivating a peculiar patch of grass called "democracy." He would plant it, water it, and let it grow just enough to convince everyone it was thriving. But every time a sheep tried to nibble on it, Yoweri would snatch it away.

"This grass is for display purposes only," he explained. "True democracy is too rich for ordinary sheep. Trust me, it's better this way."

Occasionally, a rebellious ram named Kizza would attempt to graze freely, challenging Yoweri's methods. Yoweri, ever the cunning shepherd, would chase him down, declaring, "This ram is a foreign agent! He's been colluding with wolves!"

The Eternal Herdsman

As the years turned into decades, some sheep began to wonder if Yoweri would ever retire. "Shepherds in other pastures hand over the staff," one young lamb whispered.

"Nonsense!" Yoweri bellowed, overhearing the chatter. "Do you not see how green your pasture is? Who else could lead you through these treacherous fields? Do you want to end up like the goats next door?"

To ensure his eternal rule, Yoweri introduced a new concept: "The Lifelong Shepherd's Act." It was met with loud applause—or perhaps nervous bleating; it was hard to tell. The sheep knew better than to question his wisdom.

The Sheep That Left the Flock

A few daring sheep tried to escape the pasture, seeking greener fields beyond the fence. Yoweri labeled them "traitors to the flock."

"They'll be eaten by lions," he warned. "Or worse, they'll end up in countries where shepherds actually retire. Can you imagine the chaos of living without my guidance?"

Meanwhile, Yoweri's family of goats quietly grazed on the best patches of grass, their bellies full and their horns polished. The sheep, ever obedient, dared not ask why.

The Shepherd's Legacy

One day, a wise owl perched on a tree asked Yoweri, "Do you ever tire of shepherding?"

"Tire? Never!" Yoweri laughed. "This is my calling. Besides, I've trained my children to shepherd after me. This flock is a family business."

And so, the sheep continued their days, living under the watchful eye of their eternal shepherd. They whispered dreams of change but knew deep down that Yoweri's pasture was all they'd ever know.

After all, in the Pearl of Africa, it wasn't about the sheep—it was always about the shepherd.

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