{UAH} Standard Digital News : : The Nairobian - Why women opt to be the 'second wife'

http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/entertainment/thenairobian/article/2000133078/why-women-opt-to-be-the-second-wife

Standard Digital News : : The Nairobian

Once derided and scorned by successful Kenyan women who believed sharing a man was beneath them, the second wife is quietly gaining acceptance in high social circles.

Former Miss Kenya and anti-jiggers campaigner Cecilia Mwangi, who is in a polygamous relationship, supports the trend, saying it protects the family.

"Instead of the 'open relationship' in 'mpango wa kando,' which exposes the family to disease, marrying two wives stems the vice of 'kuhanya' (adultery)," she says.

Cecilia argues that society has to embrace change and drop old mentalities.

"You can be in a monogamous relationship and unhappy. Polygamy can bring you peace. Remember you must be happy in life. Mine offered love and peace of mind," she added.

Recently, Othaya MP Mary Wambui, told a political rally in Kiambu that the cows taken to her father's homestead as bride price were still there after speakers at the rally introduced her as 'Wambui wa Mwai' (Mwai Kibaki's wife).

Singer and former Tusker Project Fame runners up Linda Muthama, describes her husband Walter Mong'are aka Nyambane, former comedian and current Nairobi County Director of Communication, as a "pillar" and says she has a wonderful relationship with her co-wife because of God.

"We live happily and I have never had issues with her. We have a good relationship and are one big happy family, even though I don't like it when we spend so much time discussing my family instead of my music and other great things that we are doing to change the lives of many Kenyans. Nyambane is my biggest fan, keyboard player and loving husband.

"Looking back, I must give credit where it is due. From my days at TPF, I still believe that I wouldn't have been this far without Nyambane. He has been a pillar and remains one of the most important people in my life," says Linda.

In an earlier interview with The Nairobian, Senator Joy Gwendo said, "It's every woman's wish to spend her life with friends who understand her, and I am no exception, factors and positions notwithstanding."

When did this trend become vogue? A roundtable discussion of high-flying women and men organised by The Nairobian revealed that the Nairobi woman has become "more confident about taking charge."

The roundtable included influential women, a model and psychologist, who interrogated the topic 'why the Kenyan woman has changed and the impact on marriages, work and lifestyle. The verdict unanimously settled on the fact that the Kenyan woman is more liberal.

The Kenyan woman now decides whom she wants to marry, have babies with and she goes out until late like a single girl to spite the husband who 'lives' in the bar.

Not surprisingly, first wives are not taking this new 'liberal woman' kindly. A survey report on the Status of the Institution of Marriage in Kenya conducted by Infortrack Research and Consulting revealed that a majority of married women would love to remain as the only wives in their relationships, while 17 per cent described themselves as first wives.

"A majority of women who are the only wives in their unions responded in the negative when asked if they would accept another wife in the union," the survey showed.

As a pointer to the fragility of the marriage institution, a majority of the 1,200 respondents indicated it was not love that held marriages together, but children.

So, why are beautiful women settling for No 2? Relationship counsellor Sheila Wachira and columnist with The Standard's Eve Woman, says women have an inescapable desire to outdo each other. If say a friend is married to a doctor, the other woman would want to marry an engineer to get even, Wachira says.

Standard Digital News : : The Nairobian - Why women opt to be the 'second wife'

http://www.standardmedia.co.ke/entertainment/thenairobian/article/2000133078/why-women-opt-to-be-the-second-wife

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