{UAH} Ensure your bride price goes to the right person

Ensure your bride price goes to the right person

Written by Diana Nabiruma

 Last Updated: 24 June 2015

 

Kenyangi has wished for many things in her life: good grades, a good career, a good husband and a father to walk her down the aisle.

Her father had had many daughters, but none had had him walk them down the aisle; they were on poor terms.

"I am his last daughter," Kenyangi said with passion. "I have to give him that honour of walking a daughter down the aisle."

Her father, unfortunately, passed away and now that Kenyangi is getting married in August, she is thinking of him.

"I wish he were here," she sighs.

Her desire is made even more urgent because of the hot negotiations for bride price – how much it will be and who will take it. She feels unloved and uncared for.

"The bride price was too high; I had hoped that a big chunk of it would go to my mother because of all my relatives, she has done the most for me and is most deserving. The elders do not think so. They want the bride price for themselves. I wish my father was here," she says.

Other orphaned brides have shared their frustrations about undeserving elders wanting to take all the bride price.

While some activists have argued against bride price, the practice is still with us and it is important for brides-to-be to be equipped with ways they can ensure that their bride price goes to the people they consider most deserving.

Dr Sheila Ndyanabangi, a pre-marital counsellor with All Saints church, gives the following advice.

"Girls should be tactical and not clash with elders. They, however, should not let relatives take advantage of them. They can convince their husbands to give relatives something and also ask them to prepare special gifts for their mothers," Ndyanabangi says.

Keeping the official bride price low so that a man has resources left over for the special gift for the mother or the deserving relative the girl wants to honour, will keep bride price costs low.

"The special gift should not be given while the other relatives see," Ndyanabangi tips.

 dnabiruma@observer.ug

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

Le Montréal d'amour d'I

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