{UAH} ONLY IN TORONTO: HILARIOUS BUT STUPID

In the first year of my arrival in Montreal a story out of Toronto - a city I hadnt been too - came breaking my ribs into shrapnel.

A bunck of Knyans had issued a Harambe to celebrate a Madaraka Day.

Chores and tsaks were assigned to individuals who could carry them out to success and one of this was a heavier assignment to a group of three who were to be responsible for the varieties of Nyama Choma.

The three went about all grocery stores and butcheries in the Greater Toronto area hunting for deals on bulk buying the Nyama - beef, mutton, lamb and chicken.

Word was awash of nearby farms where one could buy all shorts of meats and at lower prices so the trio opted to drive to one of the farms.

On reaching the farm they quickly go native and went down on the farmer with negotiating prices down. Farmer gave them some breather alright but come negotiations on goat meat he would give little room to breathe.

On balancing and juggling numbers in the mind one of the trio made a quick outrageous suggestion after the farmer spoke about the costs of labor that let to the higher cost of goat meat per kilo.

His suggestion was to buy a whole goat - not a dead one but a live one so they could do the slaughter and chopping themselves in order to avoid the additional labour costs.

Hence they all agreed and the farmar handed them a whole live goat.

Trio arrive back downtown only to realize they live in an apartment with no backyard to slaughter the poor goat but same dude who suggested they buy a whole goat had plans already. Plan of as to where they would do the slaughter.

It was the bath tub.

Again they all agree and off with the gaot to the slaughterhouse - Bathroom. Dudes manhandle the poor goat and start the slaughter as the goat cried its life out for help as loud as it could.

The cry, fight and kiccks in the bathtub helped, albeit, too late. They caught the attention of a neighbour below the slaughterhouse after hearing some death cries accompanied by a struggle. 

Neighbor quickly concludes there was a murder taking plave above her apartment so decides to call police of 911 to report a murder taking place.

Police respond in all manners - SWAT, Blue cops and as always, firetrucks - all surround the apartment.

The close in to the target apartment with guns drawn as one listened to voices in the apartment and bangs hard and loud on the door "Police...! Open the door" repeatedly.

Lo and behold, complications arose when the man who had been slaughtering the goat was one to go open the door still holding a bloodied knife and exhausted from fighting the now dead goat.

Police scream at him to "Drop the knife and lie down...!" with arms stretched over the head on the floor and as the knife voluntarily gave way to his grip and he lay down the cops quickly pounced and kneed him on the spine then handcuff the poor Kenyan who bore all the evidence of a murder taking place - exhaustion, blood and a butcher's knife.

There was no time to ask questions as the police moved on to quickly tear down the other two comrades and handcuff them as well.

Rushing with pointed guns searching every room and closets the police was utterly shocked to find a goat lying in a bathtub shocked in its own blood.

The trio were all charged with with mischief and endangering of people's health - not murder.

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

Le Montréal d'amour d'I

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