{UAH} The day my virginity was faked

The day my virginity was faked

Written by DORA LIZ NANSAMBA

 Last Updated: 10 July 2015

 

My village is one that has held onto its cultural values.

As a young lady, I fell deeply in love with a boy, Kamara. A beautiful love it was. He built his own house at a very young age and impressed the village elders. He intimated to me that he built it for us, because he was planning to come and ask for my hand in marriage.

No one can direct love. Many women may have settled in their marriages, not because they loved, but because they had to fit in society. I loved Kamara so much and even went against my mother's advice of keeping my virginity intact.

"Chief Rusana will come in a week's time to pay your bride price," announced my father one day.

In our village, women do not talk back to men, and certainly not daughters to fathers. I bowed my head in acceptance.

"Mother, what will I do? I wanted to get married to Kamara, and we had decided to handle the virginity issue in our own way," I cried.

"I told you. Women in this part of the world do not choose husbands. If Chief Rusana reveals that you are not a virgin, you will be stoned to death," Mother warned.

I had only two weeks to get married to Chief Rusana. I was really scared. Chief Rusana's sister, Kabahweza, visited my mother two days after I confessed to her. They were great friends. That is the day I opened my eyes to the fact that a woman's heart is a box of secrets. Mother, and her friend Kabahweza, discussed their problems.

They too had had the same problem as mine, when they were getting married, and they solved it in the most unsuspicious of ways. Mother told Kabahweza that it was her turn to help me, since in their time, Mother had helped Kabahweza. I learnt that these two old women also got married when they were not virgins, but they had stood by each other.

On the day of the traditional wedding, Lady Kabahweza stood in the doorway, looking all tough and mean. I thought that was the end of me. I wondered why she was not friendly, yet she and mother had agreed to help me.

"Woman!" shouted Lady Kabahweza. "You will swear by your ancestors, in the presence of the whole village. Has any man ever touched you?"
Mother had told me what to say.

"No man has ever touched me," I said, with a slight tremble.

I was so scared. I knew I was lying. Lady Kabahweza did not make it any easy for me either. She was so mean, pushing me around. I wanted to run away for fear of being stoned to death.

"By this time tomorrow, the youths of this village will stone you to death if you make my brother go through an already-trodden path," she declared.

I cried but no one saw my tears because I was covered in a veil. Another woman came and took me into a room. She told me it was to be my room for the rest of my life, except of course if I was not found a virgin. Because then, I would die.

Five elderly women came into the room and inspected it. They were careful not to leave anything they did not trust. They then went out.

Lady Kabahweza rushed in and in just five seconds, she had told me what to do. She put a piece of cloth under a mat and told me to be careful. She rushed out.

The next morning, Lady Kabahweza came in with two other women. It was her responsibility to ascertain if her brother's bride had passed the test. She threw off the blanket and the other women started singing songs of praise to the bride. She quickly took off the beddings and stashed them away.

That is how my mother saved me from being stoned. The heart of a woman is a box of secrets! Why is virginity only for women? What about men? Could this be the reason for the women faking virginity?

--

___________________________________

Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

"But this I know, UPC believed and still believes in

very high education. We can call Obote all bad names we have, but the bottom line remains that he got more scholarships for Buganda than all previous Uganda leaders combined. That includes Sir Edward Mutesa, President Lule, President Binayisa, up to and into Ssabasajja Mutebi. Who all happen to be Baganda leaders." Mulindwa

--
Disclaimer:Everyone posting to this Forum bears the sole responsibility for any legal consequences of his or her postings, and hence statements and facts must be presented responsibly. Your continued membership signifies that you agree to this disclaimer and pledge to abide by our Rules and Guidelines.To unsubscribe from this group, send email to: ugandans-at-heart+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com or Abbey Semuwemba at: abbeysemuwemba@gmail.com.