{UAH} Papa talk: Why are girls brighter than boys?

Papa talk: Why are girls brighter than boys?

Written by GEORGE MUSOKE

 Last Updated: 07 August 2015

 

A family friend and I recently got talking about children and I was astounded by what he says about his daughter.

See, my friend had only boys until God served up a little daughter two and a half years ago. But my dotting friend seems puzzled by the fact that little Malia seems too mature not only for her age, but also when compared to her brothers.

First, without her excellent language skills that probably come from being surrounded by rowdy boys, Malia seems too caring for her age. When one of her brothers cries, Malia will exclaim with profound concern: "John is crying! Why is John crying?" She will even walk over and say "Sorry! Sorry!" complete with a pat on the back.

Recently, Malia's brother, who is five-and-a-half years old, was heard musing with his bothers: "Malia is a tough girl; she can say 'don't waste water'."

Malia, who is already demanding her "my homework," is also very conscious about road safety. The moment she sits in the car, she will first of all demand that you fasten her seat belt. And once that is done, she will demand that "you, your belt also", before demanding the same for all the other occupants. Should you attempt to drive without executing her instructions, she will yell until you stop.

For a 30-month-old, I too found this case curious. A little bit of research seemed to confirm the common truism that girls develop much faster than boys. And so it could be that Malia is only living up to that evolutionary fact.

But if girls mature faster than boys – which means that a girl of three years could easily have the brain of a five-year-old boy – why is it that on the whole, men tend to score ahead of women in IQ tests?

Does something happen to the girls as they grow up which prevents them from galloping ahead of boys? And if that is the case, what can we as parents do to ensure that girls remain in the lead?

My research has thrown up countless answers, but some psychologists have argued that girls tend to mature faster because everyone in the home pays more attention to their learning from early on. This is apparently because people in a home are generally more concerned about how girls will turn out.

So, it could be that Malia's mother spends more time showing her things and reciting their names and asking her repeat after her – because the mother wants to make sure the girl will be fine?

In the meantime, the boys are probably watching their cartoons and there is not so much concern about them: they are boys. They will be fine. If this is true, then it would be interesting to see what would happen if boys and girls were treated in exactly the same way.

But one other explanation seemed to offer us parents something deeper to think about. The psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson suggests that the kind of feedback parents give to children can influence how they react to challenges later – including academic challenges.

Many a mother will admit the feedback for girls tends to emphasise endowment (you are beautiful; you are smart; you are bright).

For boys meanwhile – because they are usually difficult to control – the parents are desperate to tame. So we praise the boys if they settle down and do homework; if they work harder at that Maths problem; if they put in more effort.

Why is this important? Because girls are trained to treasure endowment, it means they are not oriented to push themselves hard. A girl can be allowed to feel – or even say "I am not good at Maths" but no father worth his salt will allow a seven-year-old boy to accept defeat at the hands of Maths.

My friend with the adorable daughter Malia has resolved he will be pushing her as hard as the boys in terms of endeavour to see if she can retain her apparent IQ advantage over decades. 

What has been your experience raising boys and girls? Do you see any differences? 

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower

"But this I know, UPC believed and still believes in very high education. We can call Obote all bad names we have, but the bottom line remains that he got more scholarships for Buganda than all previous Uganda leaders combined. That includes Sir Edward Mutesa, President Lule, President Binayisa, up to and into Ssabasajja Mutebi. Who all happen to be Baganda leaders." Mulindwa

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