{UAH} WHEN YOU LOSE A CHILD
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5:03 AM |
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By Magala Gerald Mukiibi, Esq.
Many a time, people say that we are born to die, and that it is inevitable. Then they claim that this gives us the challenge to do the utmost and to enjoy the years before it happens. But what about if it happens when you are just turning four years old?!
The death of a loved one is a complex and emotionally crippling experience. As a matter of fact, proximity matters. You need people you know and associate with at your side. This means, losing a loved one in the diaspora is often even harder to deal with.
A few days ago, one of our colleagues, in the city of Melbourne lost his dear son. As parents, we all understand the pain and grief that comes with the loss of a child. Now, that loss gets greatly magnified when you lose your child away from home, away from close relatives and family.
Raising a child, into a person of great character and admirable personality requires a lot of hard work from both parents. Many of us dream to see our children become responsible global citizens, ones we can be proud of. This is a dream that all parents, from all walks of life look forward to realization.
Seeing your child, the one you have held from when he was a few hours old, being lowered into the grave, at an age of just four (4), is one of the most devastating, most heartbreaking and most hurting circumstance ever imaginable. That dream that you have held in your hands being lowered six feet under, never to be realized. That is very heartbreaking.
The late Devine.
Africa is a communal society. We bank our social security in our communal connection. In times of happiness; such as when there is a marriage, an initiation, birth celebration, or harvest, we entrust our joy in our communities. In times of sorrow, such as when there is a death, we are comforted by the warmth of brotherliness, the communal aspect of family and the mutual understanding of collectivism.
It is typical for a death in an African community to bring the family and the whole community together, some of whom come from a distance. Needless to say, when we lost our dear son, Ugandans from all the States of Australia trekked miles to come and commiserate with our dear brother Nsubuga.
Prayers were said, being led by Ugandan priests.
In our African culture, there is always communal existence where people give each other moral, emotional and material support. Most bereaved families in the Diaspora are often caught in situations that they need more emotional than financial support. This emanates from the fact that we are thousands of miles away from home, away from family and relatives. It is not always about money. It all has to do with moral support. It is during such times that we need a shoulder to cry on.
Our brothers and sisters in the diaspora should embrace this traditional aspect of African communal living. Many of us distance ourselves from the communities that bring us together as a people of the same background. We tend to think that we can thrive very well alone. We forget that we are thousands of miles away from our childhood security, our families and relatives. This doesn't mean that I do not understand that living together as a people has its problems. I perfectly understand that there will always be conflicts. However, when we put the benefits of coming together, against the problems that may come with it, the benefits outweigh the problems.
We take this opportunity to thank all Ugandans in Australia, and all the friends of the Ugandan communities for your moral, spiritual and financial support during this trying moment. The executive of the Ugandan Association of New South Wales, led by the president, Mr. Robert Hirya wishes to extend its sincere gratitude to the Reverend father John who traveled from NSW to Victoria to lead the funeral mass. We would also like to thank the Church for its invaluable contribution towards the family of Mr. Nsubuga.
Father John (in the middle)
We have been informed that a number of Ugandans living in Australia not only contributed financially but also physically participated in the sending off of our beloved son. This is truly the African way of doing things.
The dead are not dead but only resting……Rest in Peace Devine.
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