{UAH} My condolences to the women who are in their 30s or above
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9:47 AM |
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My condolences to the women who are in their 30s or above and aggrieved about not being able to marry. I pray Allah help their situation and alleviate their duress.
But a lot of them actually choose not to get married in their 20s.
The unfortunate fate of many men is that that they don't even get to make that choice. If they are not financially established with a good enough income, which may not happen till a lot later in life, not only are they relegated to being the least sought after candidate for a marriage proposition, many of them are pressured by their own families to not marry till they are financially stable.
Not advocating marriage before you are able to support your family. Not even complaining about the fact that our idea of the financial stability necessary to support one's family has gotten massively inflated and detached from Islamic values due to our materialistic view of life. That's a whole different issue.
Just pointing out the obvious fact that it is unfair to expect a well established man in their 30s who couldn't marry earlier due to his lack of financial stability to marry a woman in their 30s who chose not to marry in their 20s just because she didn't want to.
A resentment could grow in his mind towards someone who squander the opportunity he was never even given. He would naturally prefer to marry someone who wants to get married in their 20s over someone who refused to marry till they reached their 30s.
Of course, on the flip side, there are many men who would rather enjoy their life than marry early because they consider marriage a burden, and there are many women who are willing to marry early but can't because they either have no choice in the matter or have a valid reason to make the very difficult choice (like taking care of old/sick/disabled parents who have no one else they can depend on).
But this is only a minority. Marriage is not something that Allah has made difficult for us.
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-- But a lot of them actually choose not to get married in their 20s.
The unfortunate fate of many men is that that they don't even get to make that choice. If they are not financially established with a good enough income, which may not happen till a lot later in life, not only are they relegated to being the least sought after candidate for a marriage proposition, many of them are pressured by their own families to not marry till they are financially stable.
Not advocating marriage before you are able to support your family. Not even complaining about the fact that our idea of the financial stability necessary to support one's family has gotten massively inflated and detached from Islamic values due to our materialistic view of life. That's a whole different issue.
Just pointing out the obvious fact that it is unfair to expect a well established man in their 30s who couldn't marry earlier due to his lack of financial stability to marry a woman in their 30s who chose not to marry in their 20s just because she didn't want to.
A resentment could grow in his mind towards someone who squander the opportunity he was never even given. He would naturally prefer to marry someone who wants to get married in their 20s over someone who refused to marry till they reached their 30s.
Of course, on the flip side, there are many men who would rather enjoy their life than marry early because they consider marriage a burden, and there are many women who are willing to marry early but can't because they either have no choice in the matter or have a valid reason to make the very difficult choice (like taking care of old/sick/disabled parents who have no one else they can depend on).
But this is only a minority. Marriage is not something that Allah has made difficult for us.
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Allaah gives the best to those who leave the choice to Him."And if Allah touches you with harm, none can remove it but He, and if He touches you with good, then He is Able to do all things." (6:17)
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