{UAH} EVER WONDERED LIKE ME? IT;S A LoL

Baboons

Something weird went on in my mind for decades. A few weeks ago I decided to let it out. The surprise was that those I revealed the thingi torturing me to actually knew about it already.

I had always wondered why the daughters and sons of chiefs are ever born beautiful and handsome while there parents were - in MUK-speak - murrums. Some chiefs would be near dwarfs but have gorgeous elegantly tall majestic daughter that never looked like them - not an iota of resemblance from head-hair to toe-nails.

The couple of dudes I opened up to revealed a disturbing practice in Acholi and Bunyoro. Shady, dirty and nasty thingis that created generations of awesome kids to chiefs.  

Was aptly briefed that there used to be a hidden unwritten systematic abductions and confinement of handsome male youths in particular to provide what ugly chiefs couldn't achieve - beautiful and handsome daughters and sons.

The unwritten code was that chiefs and their court of elders gawked neighborhoods and passer-by elegant male youths then planned to abduct them. Once abducted the young man would be treated to the royal table to partake of the Queen Bee's Royal Jelly far better than the chief himself - but for a purpose. He would be held hostage until the purpose for his abduction is achieved. No ransomes.

The young man would be hidden from sight and confined in his hut where his only punishment is to bungabunga with a select chiefs wife or wives just for one reason - to preggy the chief's them with his high-value seeds. If unlucky he could do end up doing the rounds depending on how many wives the chief had or which of them he would want preggy by the handsome horsie stud.

Problem was or is that once purpose was achieved - impregnations - the hot stud would be unceremoniously kicked out of the roya; yard - empty handed as he was abducted. Some studs could even be murdered while some chiefs would offer to pay back with a cow or two for good work done. But they are barred from stepping into the royal courtyard less sharp eyes did genetic Arithmetic on them.

Now you can stop wondering why chiefs and kings have awesome kidos. Them awesome kids aren't their handworks - sorry, Mandingo works. They are some unlucky dude's torture chamber products. 

I hate to say this but if you ever married a gorgeous chief's daughter or son either by way of wealth or Ojuju but ended with ugly products just know that the problem lies with you in your crouch or egg cells. You are the ugly Baboon or Babooness.

Now I know why men are close to being declared endangered species. We have been suffering since creation. Bottom line, that's not fair.

Now I can also say that this forceful donations must be an Africa-wide way of life - including in your royal households.

Below is one such known gay-bisexual dude of a chief/king who could have wholly benefitted from this nasty practice. He could have outsourced his 16 wives to concentrate on what he loved the most - sodomizing abducted men from mattoke fields and smoking out Christians in fiery spectacles. How could a gay dude end up with 16 wives?

Kabaka Mwanga is on record as having married 16 wives:

1. Damali Bayita Nanjobe
2. Naabakyaala Dolosi Mwaan'omu Bakazikubawa
3. Esiteri Nabunnya
4. Naabakyaala Eveliini Kulabako, Omubikka
5. Naabakyaala Loyiroosa Nakibuuka, Kaddulubaale
6. Naabakyaala Samali Namuwanga, Sabaddu
7. Nabweteme
8. Nakijoba Nabulya (Elizabeeti Oliva Kyebuzibwa born of Mwanje Bikaali)
9. Bezza Batwegombya
10. Naabakyaala Ntongo, Kabejja
11. Naabakyaala Nabisubi, Omuwanga
12. Namirembe
13. Lakeeri Mbekeka
14. Nalwooga, Omuyigiriza
15. Elizaabeeti Buteba
16. Nattimba Binti Juma

DISCLAIMER: The writer woke up wrong side of the bed this morning so excuse him for sounding ridiculous
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Gwokto La'Kitgum

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"Even a small dog can piss on a tall building" Jim Hightower

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