{UAH} Trump Urges Americans to Boycott Chinese Goods and Just Buy Things at Walmart

By Andy Borowitz

May 13, 2019

Photograph from Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Asking for their solidarity in his trade war with China, Donald Trump is urging Americans to boycott Chinese goods and "just buy things at Walmart."

Trump made his request via Twitter, where he told his fellow-citizens that it was their "patriotic duty" to punish China by buying as many goods at Walmart as possible.

"If you go to a great american store like Walmart, you'll find lots of cheap sportswear, shoes, and other items for you and your family to enjoy," he tweeted. "What better way to show China that we don't need their dumb stuff!"

Shortly after Trump sent those marching orders to his countrymen, the Chinese President, Xi Jinping, offered a muted response. "I'm beginning to see how he lost a billion dollars," Xi said.

• Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.

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