{UAH} Story for fellow Baboons

Baboons,

Gotta a story to te'ya. This happened last evening.

So, last evening wifey and I took out my inlaw and hubby who are visiting from the US. Him a Motswana and she an Italian  - with their six year old kid.

Man is a professor with two PhDs... and to top it all, a comic motormouth.

He told and confirmed to me several surprises. Some I heard of but not completely while others I didnt,

All were hilarious rib-wreckers.

To begin he asked if it was true that one of my presidents who called Kaunda the "Weeping President" one time made an impromptu stopover unannounced in Libya on his way from Europe to Uganda just to say "Hi" to a good friend, Gaddafi, who wasnt expecting him.

Of course I too had heard the story and read about the same, so answered "Yes. I also read about the sudden visit which was said to be an airport stopover that caught Gadafii by surprise with nothing to do except the "Hi" and probably earn a dosage of Qibla (Arabic for Kiss) from Gahaffi.

He couldnt believe that I too caught wind of the story. but wondered how the pilots could have rapidly responded to the order to stop in Tripoli bila taarifa.

Then he said, he had a number of Uganda professor colleagues he taught with in univs across the world. One of them he remembers as a Muganda told him of a torture method in the 70s that I never heard of.

It was to do with good'ol Hyena. Said he was told an unfortunate soul of a beat up captive would be locked in a low cage with a starving Hyena inside a cell. The blood shocked captive and the Hyena would look suspiciously into each others eyes as the trickle of daylight faded into the darkness..

That meant victim would shortly be snack for the Hyena but this would never happen as the guards would shortly hear the victim screaming foul ready to confess for fear of the Hyena's jaws.

Told him much as it sounded horrifying and hilarious, same time I never heard of the method.

Shortly he turned to Angola. Prof isnt a young man of my age. Told me he fought liberation wars in Zimbabwe and Angola and as such met their leaders including Mugabe and Savimbi.

Accordingly, only Savimbi was the only fully certified Angolan. Agostino Neto and Dos Santos were both natives of Sao Tome and Principe in the Gulf of Guinea with Dos Santos a crossbreed between a Portuguese and African parents. Present president, he said, is Congolese.

Then another rib cracker. Mugabe, Chiluba and Kaunda. Prof asked if I ever heard of the wrangle btwn Chiluba and Kaunda and why it died so fast.

Apparently, it was Chiluba who raised the matter of Kaunda being Malawian not knowing zillions of Zambians knew who he really was.

Said, it's true Kaunda is of Malawian parentage who was born in the copper mines of Zambia but unlike Kaunda, Chiluba is Congolese born in DRC who jumped the border together with parents into Zambia. When Chiluba got wind that  many Zambians kumbe knew his secret, the birthright issue went down the Zambezi

Then he said Mugabe too, was Malawian and Zimbabweans knew. Challenged me to place Mugabe and Chiluba's bantu names ethnically and geographically. None of them sounded native to their new or present ethnicity and countries they led.

Said of another Gadafii shocker to Botswana. In one of them hasty attempts to create a United States Of Africa Gadafii summoned African leaders to Libya to talk a single Africa country. One of these leaders was Festus Mogae. After he gave a great speech Gadafii opted to give Mogae a gift or gifts.

Was Mogae surprised at the gifts or not? Well, with Gadaffi they drove out of Tripoli to some desert palatial tent where Mogae was to receive the gifts.

Three (3) camels.

I turned to wifey to ask if she knew about the camels to which she quickly said Nope. Said as far as she knew there wasnt a single camel in Botswana - lest Southern Africa - except South Africa where one can see them in zoos. Then shortly after said "wait a minute, there was a time three camels appeared on the grounds during independence day celebration in Botswana leaving natives mesmerized at the desert beasts of burden. They could have been Mogae's then"

He said of all African colleagues in the intellectual arena he has interacted with he found Ugandans to be the most friendly, politically warped, wacky and adventurous. 

On adventure he said two of his colleagues at a US univ in the midwest opted to follow the big money to East Timor. Went on to ask if I ever heard of the East Timor rebel uprising.

Said yeap.

He said those two Uganda colleagues weren't just professors but women. Incidentally both were abducted by East Timor rebels. That was news to me. I told myself I would contact Brother Google for more info. Told me their names too, but forgot due to info overload. Will ask shortly.

That wasnt all about Uganda professors. There was yet another woman prof who took off during the volatile war in Liberia where General Buttnaked made daily news headlines. He wondered what Uganda women smoked. The Liberian woman colleague was to appear in yet another war zone. This time Afghanistan. Again forget her name. No wonder Ugandans love wars, he said.

Story continues. Today Sunday we host their son's birthday and reason to gulp holly water and listen to more headlines.

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