{UAH} What I would do if I contested with weak Kyagulanyi
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What I would do if I contested with weak Kyagulanyi
- July 22, 2020
- Written by Dr Jimmy Spire Ssentongo
Kamaadi was one of the tiniest boys in our P4 class back then.
Yet word had always moved around that he was known in his home neighbourhood for wrestling bigger boys and embarrassingly getting them bloody. One day he came to class and found that Jacob had taken away his chair and replaced it with a broken one.
Jacob was the biggest in our class. And, as was the trend then, we called him jajja, Kabedwa. We got worried when Kamaadi stood up to Kabedwa, demanding for his chair. He had even started poking him with his finger.
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Kabedwa warned Kamaadi twice, threatening that if he stood up, the latter would not like what would follow. Some of us started pleading with Kamaadi to just forget about the chair until Kabedwa goes out for lunch.
Though we had heard of Kamaadi's strength, the stark difference in the appearance of the two was quite alarming. But the boy insisted! What amused us though is how Kabedwa kept announcing how he was going to scatter the insistent poker, but without moving.
Minutes later, Kabedwa started pleading with us: 'mukagyeewo nga sinakakuba' (take him away before I beat him up). This was not a new trick in the book of the scared. It was common for some, in another version, to urge: 'hold me so that I don't cause trouble here'.
Kamaadi insisted, and we could not risk holding him either. Besides, we knew that it was his right to demand for the chair. In the fight that followed, it was extremely embarrassing to see Kabedwa thrown on the ground with the boy seated on him, punching away at his head.
Kabedwa was the the proverbial cock that had always threatened other animals with the 'fire' (comb) on his head, until they touched it when he was asleep. This may not be the case with President Museveni. We know that he is very popular. Besides, how could a liberator not be loved?
He saved us from war, poverty, corruption, state violence, tribalism, and election rigging. Given all his achievements and how happy the country is with him, he has nothing to fear in an election that he organises himself.
Only an extremely weak candidate would fear losing in an election they control, with vote counters appointed by them. They wouldn't say of a weak contender, 'take him away before I win him'.
I, therefore, do not expect our beloved, successful, popular president to fear a young weak amateur like Kyagulanyi. It is even embarrassing for us who support Museveni.
Is this to assume that Ugandans are ungrateful people who will end up abandoning someone who has clearly helped them a lot? Is this to save Ugandans from their not knowing what is good for them? Ugandans know that life has been wonderful for them under Museveni, and would, therefore, not be swayed to vote for anyone else.
If I were as strong, successful, and loved as Museveni, I wouldn't have a problem with allowing free and fair elections. What would I be scared of? After a chance of 34 years to show my worth? To be scared would be to imagine that people are unhappy with me and would remove me at any opportunity. It would be to show that someone else is more popular than me.
There is nothing like 'not taking chances' for a popular candidate who is also in charge of the electoral body. A person who is even exclusively consulted by that body on how to run elections under Covid-19! What would they fear, except if they knew they had messed up and could no longer trust those they lead!
If I were such a strong candidate, I wouldn't be bothered about weak Kyagulanyi staging concerts. I would let him sing his lies since I would be knowing that people know the truth of what I have done for them – except if I took them to be so gullible and naïve.
But, if it was true that they were so gullible and naïve as to be easily deceived about my obvious achievements, wouldn't that raise the question of why I had not succeeded in making them sharp in 34 years?
If I competed with a political amateur like Kyagulanyi that stood no chance of winning, I wouldn't stop him from making consultations. I wouldn't persecute his followers. As far as I know, persecution is always born of fear. But why fear a weak competitor?
I wouldn't try to criminalise the red beret. I wouldn't purge his rallies. I would treat him like Maureen Kyalya, Mabiriizi, Prof Baryamureeba, etc. Just let him compete and fail flatly. It would be an opportunity for me to showcase my popularity across generations.
If I was Mayweather and I found myself in the ring with Golola Moses, would I have to first tie up his hands for a knockout? Would I have to waste my time and energy discussing his weaknesses and how he stood no chance? Would I be bothered by those cheering the weak man on? Why would I spray them with teargas even when they converge peacefully without interfering with anyone else!
If I stood in a contest with a weak fella, I wouldn't bother buying off their supporters. I wouldn't panic into splashing money in the ghetto simply because a one Kyagulanyi is said to have a base there. I would be confident in the fact that the ghetto appreciates what I have been doing for it under my long leadership.
For most of my political discussion, violence, and restriction to focus on Kyagulanyi while I continue to announce how weak he is would never make sense, even to a toddler. It is not mere contradiction; it is feigned confidence - just like someone saying it doesn't hurt, while they sob.
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