{UAH} Mulindwa: Another moving Eurology for Hajji Kivejinja (R.I.P)

#Tribute_To_Alhajji_Ali_Kirunda_Kivejinja: 

Many Suns and Moons ago my life and that of the 2nd Deputy Prime Minister Alhajji Ali Kirunda Kivejinja collided in the most unlikely circumstances. It was in my father's compound as he led a delegation to negotiate for my hand in marriage – in a Baganda Marriage Cultural ceremony called Okwanjula (Introduction). Why was he leading the marriage delegation? Because my Late Father (RIP) and Mother had insisted that they will not place bride price/dowry over my head but that cultural rite of passage (dowry/bride price) would instead be replaced with both families entering a Pre-Nuptial Agreement safeguarding the rights and liberties of their 19-year-old daughter as she gets into marriage with a 35-year-old suitor. 

Therefore, my family requested my beloved Late Father-in-Law (RIP) and precious Late Mother-in-Law (RIP) to delegate someone that represents them who will sign an agreement on their behalf (as parents of my prospective suitor) as well as send along a legal representative (legal counsel of the High Court of Uganda to witness on their behalf) before my ex-husband takes my hand in marriage. My beloved Late Parents-in-Law delegated their best friend AlHajji Ali Kirunda Kivejinja to lead the marriage delegation. So, this is the first time I meet him under such circumstances - I was 19 year old 2nd year University Student. 

Fast forward, the in-laws arrived and before they feasted (we all know how sumptuous Kwanjula meals can be!) or even had any discussions on the cultural aspects of this marriage; they were asked to go into the house to append signatures to the Pre-Nuptial Agreement!!! Of course, there was an uproar amongst some members of the Royal Family & Business Elite who felt that: (i). It was unheard of in Baganda Culture to sign a pre-nuptial and being asked to do that at a Kwanjula; (ii). My family was asking too much of Baganda Royalty - those years (probably even today) it was unheard of to sign a Pre-Nuptial Agreement; (iii). As a 19-year-old campus student marrying into the royal family I was expected 'to be humble and grateful marrying into royalty'; (iv). The family I was marrying into was politically, economically and socially more highly placed and very connected than mine so they justifiably didn't understand why this young woman's family was 'being difficult asking for a pre-marriage agreement' and (v). It was unheard of for a male royal family member being asked to enter a Pre-Nuptial before taking hand of a 'mukopi' given that Baganda society is rather hierarchical and patriarchal and knows where everyone is placed. 

AlHajji Ali Kirunda Kivejinja didn't ask these questions, didn't contest in anyway, he understood why this 19-year-old naïve girl getting into a marriage with a 35-year-old had to be safeguarded; he understood why my parents felt I should be safeguarded getting into a marriage and the commitments that come with it, he understood why it was important that I complete school and pursue a career even as a Muzaana (title for the wife of a Prince in Buganda Culture). He sat on the negotiation table till the end, signed the agreement, ensured that their legal counsel and our legal counsel (Both are now Justices in the High Court of Uganda) witness the pre-nuptial and the next day delivered a copy of the fully signed Pre-Nuptial Agreement back to my late father-in-law and mother-in-law. 

In life we a choose what to remember of someone and what to Eulogize. Now this is the Al-Hajji Kirunda Kivejinja that I choose to remember, eulogize and celebrate – one who had an option of using is power as a Minister and Deputy Prime Minister of Uganda to bulldoze my family by not appending his signature on a pre-nuptial agreement but choose not to! The one that emasculated himself of all his power and privilege as a Minister and Prime Minister and negotiate over my life – which Pre-Nuptial Agreement later liberated me and many others through my human rights work over the last 26 years… The one that stayed on that negotiation table in spite of the fact that some of his delegation felt that my family was asking too much and threated to abandon the marriage negotiations but he held them together and steered the process until the end… The one that 26 years ago appended his signature on that infamous Pre-Nuptial that liberated not only me and part of who I am today but the politics I espouse and human rights I pursue for myself and others…The one that when years later that marriage failed, we both went our separate ways and moved on with life; he chose not to blame or castigate me for the broken marriage but whenever he would meet me he embraced me as is daughter-in-law, ask about the children and how I am coping as a single woman in this dusty town 'full of vultures' (in his words).. The one that would always encourage me to join politics as a Member of Parliament cos he felt its a space I belonged to… The one that allowed himself to disagree with me politically but didn't drain himself to convince me to believe in his NRM political ideologies – so we all respected each other's political ideologies and contestations… Al Hajji KK, your candle has blown and the real you is who I choose to remember and cherish!  

In the days leading to his death; I have seen so many unbecoming social media posts celebrating his death cos probably they disagree with his NRM political party and ideologies… Or celebrating the speculation that he may have succumbed to COVID-19! I often say Ugandans are a broken people, we are a broken narcissistic, sadist society in deep tatters that needs massive psychosocial support and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) interventions. We are so in need of change (better governance) that have ourselves turned into oppressors we claim to fight using the only remaining tools we have left (social media).  But we can't lose ourselves in this cos there is no way even in basic human nature, Ubuntu and African cultural contexts anyone can celebrate death of another person! There is no way one of us thinks we are home safe and dry away from COVID-19 cos it can get any of us anywhere and many people are struggling or even dead or nursing the pain of losing loved ones in such undignified ways! Those who are celebrating his demise are so insensitive to the realities of so many people that COVID has presented to us as world citizens - illness, death, undignified burials, shaming of dead people, stigmatizing of families, the overburdened healthcare providers holding the space with limited support, disruption of economies and social ways of life, people losing jobs, crushed economies and some will be traumariused for life! Celebrating that someone who has succumbed to COVID is immature and insensitive - how insensitive can you be to not only the bereaved family but to the millions in the world struggling with an epidemic so unprecedented in modern times!!! There is no way you celebrate another person's death cos they belong to another political party! Even if you disagree politically; so be it! Who says we all have to agree politically, socially, sexually, economically??? Besides anyone that disagrees with you politically gives you the legitimacy and platform to be their opponent and suggest alternatives. Competition makes us who we are and gets the best of us. As such, your opponent is as important as you are in this political game – Our Opponents Legitimize Our Struggles!!! 

Maybe its age, but with time I have matured politically and learnt that it not the things people do in the political arena that define who the are as political beings are but the things including little things in the social-economic arena, families, homes, communities that define the real us, the real person and our politics.  Why? Cos Politics is huge drama show where there is always popcorn and cheer leaders – it's like people are on stage and we all act out differently. 

Sleep well Al Hajji Ali Kirunda Kivejinja – Death is with us; we are all on a journey and will meet one day… My prayers for the family, we condole with you. 

In Deep Sorrow,

Solome Nakaweesi

20th December 2020

Kampala, Uganda 

***Note: Part of this Eulogy extracted from a Chapter of my Biography that speaks to the The Politics of Pre-Nuptial Agreements in the African Context. The Biography will be published soon.

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