{UAH} Story time: Once in Halifax, Nova Scotia

Memory Recall:

This will sound unbelievable to many but it happened.

Then a graduate student at Dalhousie University in Halifax I was one of the lucky Baboons security-cleared as a paid volunteer for the 1995 G7 Summit in Halifax 

Luck Would always be on my side of roles each day of the summit but one happened beyond my expectations

It was entering the summit room while in session. All them big 7 plus one observer were in Halifax and that one observer was the bulky roaring vodka dude, Bw. Boris Yeltsin. He too was in town 

The knee-jerk incident was that just before one of the afternoon sessions started either some techno glitch was detected or its part was amiss. 

That day I was assigned with a few to the role of Runners aka. Messenger or Courier. We always, or rather, I always never saw these big kahunas exit their limos into the building but this time from the back room I was suddenly sermoned by a wired Security dude. He referred me to another room where there were many of his kind and a floor below the conference room.

There I was handed a small box to haste with it to the floor above.

And, up went the Baboon only to find myself this time facing the most mean individuals at the elevator hallway and lounge from which emanated the most salivating aroma of dishes my stomach could only imagine.

Nobody requested to have the small box. I was instead shown direction to a room I hadn't known was the summit room and just as I approached the door a security dude gently flung it open and immediately closed behind me.

And, oh bwoyi, bwoyi ..! did I cut cheese or titrate in my g-string or not.

Just imagine a real Kagutastani Baboon 101 entering not just a room but a room occupied by the world's 8 top most leaders.... I mean, a Baboon of all homosapiens.

I was startled and awestruck. Frozen to death but I was soon saved when a familiar dude beckoned me to him at the other side of the huge conference roundtable. It was the German Chancellor, Khol another ginormous beast and only then did i get to know what I was delivering - a microphone replacement 

But here is the thingi. Although it happened so fast I managed to squeeze a smile from every president I locked eyes with but not all bcos some were chit chatting with another before session commenced and didn't know a Baboon had somehow unceremoniously sneaked in. 

And guess what! I managed to squeeze handshakes from the two giants of Yeltsin and Khol who were then paired in a conversation with a lady I presumed was a live translator but never heard a word of what they said, neither paid attention to the  language they used but I walked away with bonuses of smiles and handshakes with a memorable smile back from Ladit Clinton who was at the other side of the round table even though Yeltsin's huge hand had swallowed my baby hand completely.

Impatient shit inside me having courage, I could have done a perfect round of handshakes with all of them but Baboon also knew he was at a place where no African president has ever been - a closed door G7 summit room.

Exiting the room, I was the happiest Baboon in town but I also made sure before catching the elevator down that I inhaled the juicy aroma of the unreachable lunch the octet had.

Nevertheless, I resumed my andaki smelling real nice. Food, my friend. I love food more than my life even though folks wonder where the food I eat goes since it doesnt reflect on my lean fat-free body build. 

True story. To date I still have my security badge to the Halifax G7 Summit 1995.

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

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"Even a small dog can piss on a tall building" Jim Hightower

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