{UAH} PLEASE STOP BLAMING PARENTS OVER CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOURS

PLEASE STOP BLAMING PARENTS OVER CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOURS 

By Abbey Kibirige Semuwemba 

Friends, 

Hope you've all started the year well, allihamudulillah. 

Last month, we were involved in a discussion about parenting and children's behaviour with some Muslim brothers. It was particularly about Besigye and Winnie Byanyima's son, Anselm. 

Our Muslim brothers were blaming Winnie for the way her son has turned out to be, and I found this so unfair. 

As I flipped to Facebook a few days later, I found a similar discussion going on about Frank Gashumba 's daughter,  Sheila. Again, I found the blame game on her father unfair. 

I'm a dad myself; my eldest kid is now 14 years old, and my kids are the frosting on the cake of my life. So, believe me when I say that It is no ones 'fault' when children misbehave. It is the nature of being human to make mistakes, fail and for children to be childish, but we are accountable and responsible as adults to appropiately guide, direct and show by example how to 'do it better'. 

Yes, it is possible to have a bad kid in the family. For example,  Jeffery Dahmer, the US serial killer, is a good example.  Jeffery's parents agreed to be studied in hopes something like this would never happen again. They wanted to know if they did something wrong. However, nothing could be found to blame Jeffrey's behaviour on the parents. Jeffery also has a brother who is perfectly normal. It just happens sometimes.

You can raise a kid perfectly, and they still could end up horrible. You can be absolutely horrible to a kid, and they can turn out ok. While the parents play a hand, they aren't the sole cause of bad people. Besigye has another son, Ampairwe, who is married and totally different from Anselm. I'm not saying that Anselm is a bad man; he's just different from his elder brother. The Besigyes are such an admirable family. 

There are also people, who as children, were horribly abused, unrecognized, never saved, who grew up to be "bad people" ,and they either repeated what they learned or took out anger on others. Here parents are to blame - but do not care. 

But bottom line - it is not always the fault of parenting, and they are sometimes victims also. We just have to pray for our children 🙏 

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