{UAH} When Katakwi Pof. Okurut survived but didn't survive then survived gain

Story once told me by my Zimbabwe muchacha is the most hilarious that I love to share from time to time.

See eh!, there was this renown Harare doctor cheating on his wife with another woman who was likewise cheating on her soldier man

On one fateful bungabunga marathon the good doctor had strategically parked his Mercedes where he usually parked and strategic bcos it would provide a fast, safe and easy escape should soljman burst into the woman's crib. It never happened..that is, until this fateful night.

That night didn't go well for the good doctor but went well for his wife and her neighborhood women gossiping colleagues 

Here is what went wrong and transpied well.

On that fateful night the oblivious soljaman innocently returned home from field work when wife and good doctor least expected. He knew nothing about their frequent bungaroo

Good doc and solja's wife were in one the many ecstatic moments of sweet bungabunga when they heard the main door unlocking 

Stripped down to birthday suit good doctor didn't hesitate to dive through the crib's window and kiprotich to his obedient waiting car

The unexpected surprise gave him no time but to bolt wearing no nothing to his strategically parked car.

And off he drove away to his official crib

In the heated moment of near running amok he only realized he had been cruising buttnaked to his house only after he reached home.

Everywhere in his car there was nothing to wear, so the cheater quickly made up a genuine story  to tell his wife on why he came home absolutely nude - lasting only a couple minutes.

"Amai Tari" he shouted, "are the kids still awake?"

"Yes, they are", Amai Tari replied .

"Send them to their beds immediately before I come in and....don't forget to bring along to the door a blanket or bedsheet"

"Uhmmmm...!" Amari Tari thought. "Something ain't alright" but she continued as instructed 

Sending kids off to bed she emerged at the door with a kitenge.

The breathless good doctor was right at the door - nude - and shivering like a chihuahua

As soon door opened the quaking doctor grabbed the kitenge to cover his Adam's mandingo plus all else that shouldn't be seen

Amai Tari grew deeply concerned about her shivering husband.

"Baba Tari, what happened to my husband?" She asked while helping the nervous doc wrap in the kitenge.

"Amai Tari, Harare thieves and robbers have increasingly become bold and very dangerous. They robbed me off my watch, shoes, all clothes, etc leaving me with totally nothing" he explained 

"Oh dear..!, my husband" she said as she stuck a corner of the kitenge to hold it tight on to her husband ....and that was when her eyes caught something very familiar.

She took.one step back, gasped a huge amount of air and with a sarcastic exclamation responded to her husband asking:

"Baba Tari,  you mean Harare thieves and robbers have become so dangerous that they first rob you off your shoes, clothes and watch .... then stick a condom on your penis?"

Caught unaware Baba Tari quickly flipped open the kitenge wrap to dispute Amai Tari's embellished allegation, but viola....!

Taharaaa...! There it was. He didn't really bolt out wearing no nothing as he expected. On his dickie held on an obedient condom which kept his mandingo still ridiculously standing at attention despite the scary mayhem which should have rendered it floppy or shrunk it to just a little cowardly head of something.

"Uh hoooo...!", he lamented.

Then fainted 

Amai Tari wakes up the following morning to join her neighborhood group of gossiping wives about previous day and night gossip updates.

She releases the hounds and in the course of letting the dogs out tells her comrades how her husband came home naked in the night with a condom still holding on to his obstinate erection.

After a few minutes of respect the seemingly concerned women burst out laughing their ribs off.

Amai Tari felt hurt and betrayed but one woman said "if yours was my husband I would have given him the best sex ever"

Another one said "I would run him an aromatic eucalyptus hot foam bath, wash and scrub him like i used to with our son"

Another said, "I wish ours was my husband".

These comments further infuriated Amai Tari calling them heartless jokers and that was before one of them tapped her on the shoulder saying:

"True. Yours is the best husband a wife could have. At least they escapade must have shown you that he cares for your health and life and you saw proof with your own eyes"

"For some of us our abrasive husband's pretend and argue they don't bungabunga out there whereas we know they do. We don't know what they could have brought or given to us"

And with a hug she whispered loud into Amai Tari's ear saying "gift and stuff your husband's car and pockets with condoms every morning because he uses them to protect you"

Story didn't end there.

Around noon the same day a truck pulled in front of the good doctor's mansion and out jumped the driver who was the good doc himself.

Called out Amai Tari again and on his knees said "in this truck are the things I bought for the woman i have been cheating on you with. I took them all. Use as you wish".

Inside the truck was an entire ensemble of household items including bed, sofas, refrigerator, washing and drying machines, dresses, etc.

He never ever cheated again after making neighborhood gossip headlines. 

That has been the life of our esteemed Katakwi Prof. Okurut The Simon, my fellow Babbons.

Moral of the story is that there is always a bright light at the end of the tunnel for serial spreaders of happiness

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