{UAH} HAPPY HUNTING

In June, a blood red-inked letter popped up onReddit. It sent a philandering dude on twisted scavenger hunt to find his dumped stuff after he hooked up with a girl named "Kelsi." Although decorated with hearts and exclamation points, if words could kill, the dirt-baggy boyfriend to whom it was directed would surely be six feet under. He's probably still having nightmares-and looking for his belongings.

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Gwokto La'Kitgum

"Even a small dog can piss on a tall Building", Jim Hightower