{UAH} NO WOMAN IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER IN BED

NO WOMAN IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER IN BED

Posted on February 19, 2014 by Uganda Muslim Brothers and Sisters

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It is not true that some women are better or more superior than others in bed as some people want us to believe. The one you might find less satisfactory another man will find her the best. It is all in the mind. It takes two to tango. If you go to bed with all the misjudgments then the outcome will most certainly be disastrous. It is better not transgress ALLAH’s bounds. What you find and get depends on what you put in your mind. True and yes, in some cases the beginning may be unexciting to some people. But if you stick to the patience ALLAH prescribes to us, then little by little you learn about each other and get to enjoy one another. Most of us are impatient and we never reach there.

Sexual satisfaction is all in the mind. If you are in the right frame of mind you will get sexual satisfaction. If you are not in the right frame of mind (this includes holding previous experiences, imaginations & misjudgments) then you will not derive sexual satisfaction. The mind is so complex that we have a whole branch science called psychology that deals with the mind.

By now you can see what am driving to! If you are cheating on your wife, you need psychological counseling to put your psyche right. And this area can be handled very well by the sheikhs and medics. Wrong prescriptions will not help you. Understanding the psychological nature of your problem will enable us give the right prescriptions.

Allow me to start with the basics:

1. All humans are similar (may the word “same” may be too strong to use here”).Therefore, the basic anatomy of the subject matter is the same or similar across regions. Agreed??

2. Any argument to suggest that a woman from region X, is better than a woman from region Y, is baseless and has no foundation in science.

3. What is true however, is the fact that different cultures treat their women differently. While some cultures invest huge amounts of time in preparing a woman to satisfy her husband in bed, other cultures may invest such amount of time in teaching a woman how to prepare a delicious meal for her husband. In the first culture sexual words are in everyday use, while in the second culture sexual words may even be taboo. So in this regard it depends on what you want to hear or see. And it is all in your mind as a starting point. If the woman from the first culture meets your expectations (those things on your mind) then that is what you take to be the best. If your expectations are different then you might find such a woman a bore or a turn off.

4. This brings me to the fourth point. Your sexual ideas are shaped by your prejudices, misconceptions and beliefs you may have about certain people or cultures. I have heard Christian colleagues arguing that they find Muslim women to be better in bed than their Christian women. I have heard stories about women finding circumcised men better in bed than uncircumcised men. If a woman has it in her mind that an uncircumcised man is dirty, she will never derive the sexual satisfaction she needs from such a man, no matter how much the man tries. So this brings us back to the starting point. Sexual satisfaction is in the mind. The thoughts you have in your mind will determine what you get out of your encounter with a woman.

5. The environment in which you have sex can also determine the outcome. Consider a man who has a wife with three children and they sleep in single-roomed house. And he has a second wife or side dish (delete whichever is inapplicable) in another village who also leaves in a single-roomed house but with no children around (may be the kids are in a boarding school). The conclusion this man is likely to make is that the second woman is better in bed not realizing that the circumstances in which the women live differ very much. A free mind without any hindrances results in a better outcome than a mind full of worries.

5. Then there are these workaholics. They are honest in their ambitions to excel and succeed in whatever they do so that they can provide for their families. In pursue of this honorable goal they work too much that they leave little time for their wives back home. When their minds are filled with tiredness they let down their wives with dismal performance. The men themselves are affected. By the way the same is true for working women. Instead of figuring out that they might be working too much, often their minds drift off to their first women or men. What they forget is that they could have met their first women/men without so much responsibilities on their shoulders. Such a sexual experience with no responsibilities up your neck can not be compared to the one where you expect your land lord to knock on the door any moment to ask for the rent payment of the past two months.

By now you realize that there are so many things that can impact on someone’s sexual life. There is a whole world of issues that can lead to one’s sexual life problems. These issues are different from one person to the other. Whereas for one person it could be the thoughts in the mind, for others it could be the environment in which they live that is the cause of the problem.

The commonest and most difficult issue to handle is the one concerning the thoughts in one’s mind. It is difficult because often the affected person may not know it is his or her thoughts (mindset) causing all the problems. Other Issues are easy to handle or solve. Once you correct the circumstances things get better. For example once you raise yourself out of poverty, things often get better including one’s sex life.

In the trade I practice, I have handled some couples who have had a similar problem to the one the brother has. The feedback I have got over the years is encouraging to share. First of all, those who get an eye opener that they are being unfair to their spouses and would not like it if roles were reversed often do better. And in my experience women often do better than their counterparts the men. The women call upon the hero inside themselves and invest in their relationship; they go out of their way to discover and learn about what will please their men. And with a lot of patience they eventually hit the cord that gives them the much deserved happiness. Unfortunately often our colleagues the men lack the patience to invest time in learning their partner, “after all they can easily get another woman.” It is this mindset and impatience among men that makes them miss the gold in one woman and go for bronze in another woman, often just compounding a problem that would have been solved by a little more patience.

Mistakes and omissions expected. Please correct them.May the ALMIGHTY ALLAH guide us all on the right path.

Ibrah Ssendagire.
UMBS member in Kampala.

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Rehema
Patriot in Kampala,East Africa:UMBS is a registered organization devoted to matters of interest to Muslims in Uganda.Muslims from other countries are welcome to join us too. Follow us on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/#!/UMBSFORUM. To donate to UMBS activities, click on: http://um-bs.com/donate/ or just deposit money on UMBS Bank A/C at Bank of Africa:07074320002 .