{UAH} women don't want a "nice guy" and go after "bad boys"?????
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9:03 AM |
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There's a myth or a misunderstanding out there that women don't want a "nice guy" and go after "bad boys" who treat them with disrespect. This is completely and totally false.
If you as a man have ever been rejected for being "too nice" this can mean a lot of things, including just being too dependent or aggressively and prematurely familiar. But there is no such thing as a woman not wanting kindness and respect.
Not to mention the toxic "nice guy" syndrome that's extremely prevalent among "nice guys" today, where they expect favors and blame you for turning them down. I've seen "nice guys" devolve into stalkers and assailants because they believed the woman "owed" them something.
I'm making a point about a stereotype. Yes some people choose self harm. My point is this generalization to all women is wrong. My point is that ppl who claim this about all women don't speak for all women.
If good guys were taught how to approach girls with adab/respect/grace and vice-versa with good girls learning to approach good guys with adab/respect/grace I think we'd solve this issue. Some of the biggest problems is that folks don't know how to talk to one another. I've had guys say "I like her" and I'll be like "Why don't you tell her?" and they'll be like "But what if she says no?" and I'll be like "What if she says YES" tongue emoticon
We need to teach both girls/guys how to approach one another with adab/respect/grace. I think both are waiting for the other to make a move and in that vacuum the "bad guys" and "bad girls" fill that gap so those are the only options people think are available.
There is also a healthy way to "put yourself out there" and a negative way, we need to show folks the former.
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-- If you as a man have ever been rejected for being "too nice" this can mean a lot of things, including just being too dependent or aggressively and prematurely familiar. But there is no such thing as a woman not wanting kindness and respect.
Not to mention the toxic "nice guy" syndrome that's extremely prevalent among "nice guys" today, where they expect favors and blame you for turning them down. I've seen "nice guys" devolve into stalkers and assailants because they believed the woman "owed" them something.
I'm making a point about a stereotype. Yes some people choose self harm. My point is this generalization to all women is wrong. My point is that ppl who claim this about all women don't speak for all women.
If good guys were taught how to approach girls with adab/respect/grace and vice-versa with good girls learning to approach good guys with adab/respect/grace I think we'd solve this issue. Some of the biggest problems is that folks don't know how to talk to one another. I've had guys say "I like her" and I'll be like "Why don't you tell her?" and they'll be like "But what if she says no?" and I'll be like "What if she says YES" tongue emoticon
We need to teach both girls/guys how to approach one another with adab/respect/grace. I think both are waiting for the other to make a move and in that vacuum the "bad guys" and "bad girls" fill that gap so those are the only options people think are available.
There is also a healthy way to "put yourself out there" and a negative way, we need to show folks the former.
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